No Lie No Cry

Moving On

2011-07-07T18:35:00.000+07:00

Well, I am going to moving on.
Seriously.

For those who have been keeping touch with No Lie No Cry, I love you very much.

But something need to over, finally. I will only have a blog, one which has been standing over 3 years. It uses Indonesian, but some I will write in English.

Thank you very much :*

XoXo, Marine.

Fiction Through Reality

Written

2011-07-06T09:08:00.000+07:00

I never stop writing.
Each words I spoken were written on the wet papyrus; waiting to be found.
Just like ol’ love story. Happily ever after.
Could it be?

I am still writing, I have not found the end. Yet, enjoy the ride.

Quotes 002

2011-07-06T01:54:00.000+07:00

"Will you forgive me?

Because I HAVE NO IDEA how to live WITHOUT YOU."

- Jacob Black, New Moon.

(They Long To Be) Close To You

2011-06-28T11:46:00.000+07:00

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
And why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?

Just like me, they long to be, close to you.

Shadows

2011-06-25T23:35:00.000+07:00

It never found the end;

I never fall asleep because the deep dark eyes were watching me inside the great mirror. Hug me with uncertain and kiss me with hopeless.

Take Me Away

2011-06-23T12:17:00.000+07:00

I am falling into the depth of unknown & your lips brings me into the new quotation of the day.

Never trust those who fallen you.

2011-06-22T20:56:00.000+07:00

From weheartit.com

Because I was clearly heard your melody.

Speak no words; but you slowly crawl into my world.
You paint every mid point of my life with silver, and golden in each curve of my body.

And there is no more I wait,
I can't help but it would be your guitar play.

Yours are different.

Head Up To The Sky

2011-06-21T11:06:00.000+07:00

Photos from: weheartit.com

She leaned her head up to the sky
Dream for tomorrow over the puddle (her tears)
Crossing the rainbow.

"I wish you were here.", she whispered.

"You are my starlight. You are my sun. We're gonna rock and roll because life is a battle, you said.

But as time pass by, you're still away!"

She leaned her head up to the sky,
Climb high up the moon,
Dream on her own now,
Glamorous sky.

Officially Graduated: But Everything Looks Same

2011-06-16T23:16:00.000+07:00

Yep, farewell party today. Everything seemed so party, hip, but formality was taken above all. Therefore, we must wear KEBAYA must be MAKE UP-ED. These aren't my things, but I must do this or I would never be able to graduate, LOL.

Last day I met my friends, performed on the stage, and stole attention from the teachers. Day like this would never be the same again. *sigh* But good thing Nightmare (him, you know) was very nice to me like never before, yay :D

Happy graduation everyone! :D

(Maybe just me -.-)

Your Breath Was My Life

2011-06-12T23:12:00.003+07:00

Late on the night, summer bright, darkness fell on a pit, stopped. But rain yet to come, poured every moment in nightmare, in all perfect period.

"I'm frosted. Soon or late I will be a snowman." I said.
"Woman." He corrected. His voice was always be an angel's; deep breath and elegance and pair of two dark eyes...
"Yes, woman. Anyway, who cares?" I shrugged, been in the night and wet was all I hated; I am a darkness, and I don't like being in the dark because I will not be the darkest.

The bus stopped. I couldn't see forth, but I was sure there was an accident far there. Car crash, someone killed, bank robbery; I'd seen those for times until I found myself never been so enthusiasm into.

My body suddenly begged to move, so I stood up, leaving my seat-mate below.
"Where do you go?" He asked.
"Get a coffee."
"Oh."

And I went into the part I hated: darkness. And straight back into light; I was actually afraid the lightless. With hot brown liquids in my hands; hands.

"I bought you." I handed him the coffee.
"Why?"
"Conversation always starts from a coffee." I smiled, choked when the coaled coffee burnt my throat.

He chuckled; so clearly that I could even imagine inside his throat and waterfall.
"Hey," I opened the thread.
"Hmmb?"
"Will you still with me?"
"In order of what?" He smirked.
"Going home," I said. "Let's take the same bus again."

He smiled, and stared me for about 3 minutes in silence. Dark brown eyes, hazelnut skin, and nightmare hair. As fast as a light, I sparked, and realized he was a brightness. He was a light in the night. He was my opposite.

"Yes."
I couldn't control my face muscle; I smiled widely. "Thank you."

It was a minute full of electricity between us; hot like a heater and tense like a fighter. I smelled; papyrus, morning glory, musk, sandalwood, and pride. It was all him. He brought every spirit you need to make you big.

I touched his shoulder, and pull it into mine. I smooched his cheek; burning like a firework in a paperbag. We were cuddling like a lover (wish we were) and sweating like a prisoner. In no control of mine, I hugged him tightly, as if we had been known since we hadn't born.

"I need you," I said. "Don't leave me." I begged.
"Hush, don't be like that."

In the moment of romance, suddenly a passenger passed our seat and screamed; pointing at us, inviting the others to put an eye on us. They were looking at two of us. Their face turned into similar; and laughed.

They were happy people. A brightness. I am always afraid of them.

I speared a tear. I was powerless; I would die there. But he did not even speak anything but "Never mind them. I am here. I am the only your bright side. You are my dark side. Together we are the perfect one."

He kissed my forehead, and I buried my face into his chest. He was warm. I smelled his breath and it ensured me, it was all my life.

A Shameless

2011-06-10T21:25:00.008+07:00

I am a sinister,
Because I have declared to love you forever and ever, as long I'm breathing, over the air.

My dirty little secret keeps a pound of love letters; but I threw 'em away because you no speak by lips but every glare you blink is speaking.

Everything glittered after we talked; not much but enough to rise my heart to the shining part.

There Me Posted On The Wall

2011-06-05T22:12:00.000+07:00

Mirror on the wall, whenever I touch charcoal eyed girl in your surface, she follows me. Then, I stare deep inside her brown rounded eyes, I know she has the same like me. Golden oily skin like caramel covered wafel.

Her black wavy hair smells like a burning iron; in one side it spirits me up but in the other side it disturbs me, my eyes flying everything I smell.

Then I touch my face - she follows - and found how similar we are. Whiten pink lips, like a dry cherry, and dimples like two sauce in wafel. It's so surprising when I stare deep inside MY brown rounded eyes: I cry but I never shown it. A fallen.

It's like the darkness has risen in my life; I'm neither pretty nor beauty, I'm not luxurious or glamorous, I'm not rich or the have. I'm Adis, the one that surprised when I looked to the mirror and saw how simple I am.

But there's a sparkling light in my eyeball: it tells me to breath your fire out, show the world that your life is not the way you look: YOU ARE ATTRACTING THE WAY YOU ARE. Then I feel proud, of those oily skin shines my day, those black wavy hair flows me to the new surprises, pale red lips that covers me when I cry, and finally: dark brown eyes, ensuring me that EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY,

so one day, I'll be the star to prove that everyone has chance.

Dear & Departed

2011-06-04T19:45:00.000+07:00

My dear wasn’t the dearest; he never called me dearest, he never called me dear cause I’m none at all (destiny called me I'm none at all, none at all)

How he departed wasn’t buried alive or else; he never died, he never stop breathing; he made by stone as his heart was. He left me like nothing; he was flying away somewhere (like nothing at all, like nothing at all)

Time went by, ticking clock and I'm missing you more than I can handle, my dear, haven't yet departed.

It's 1st June

2011-06-01T18:13:00.002+07:00

Happy birthday Adis, wish you all the best.

I hope it all being no trouble; even HE doesn't say anything to you.

Hear My Roars, Howls, And Ssh

2011-05-30T22:28:00.000+07:00

I maybe the one who cant take reality that you don’t love me, but I just want you don’t blame me for this feeling cuz I don’t want this either.

For once, hear it so you can live it like I do. How hurts.

You Always Be

2011-05-27T20:25:00.000+07:00

You always pass me away. You used to, and always be.

I want you to know who I am.

There Once In The Sea

2011-05-25T22:21:00.000+07:00

There once lived me, another story of those whom adored.

I went to pieces of wood, flipping back a steel that everyone waited and spent. I performed my teeth, double, to a grumpy boneless feet who exchanged patiently.

In the middle of joys, tiny dark particle was spreading around, just like an air, invisible, but catchy. I hoped everything was good like never.

I went home and met my girly boyfriend once who smart, I worshiped. We were running to sneak a joyful piece of liquid, that I really liked. That I would do anything to get, that when I get all of world would turn around.

Everything went no wrong, just before I went into a half-rounded tube, woods, and I broke my skin with a traditional martial arts from my dearest girl who hid her face in an invisible (I wished a kiss but I knew it would never shown) and everything was so black, I tried to wake but everything was so deep.

Next morning, I woke up with a mollusk in my feet, coffee on my hand, get ready to work as I realized I was yellow.

Tribute to Squarepants;
Always smile in the storm, before, after, and never will stop

Malang Tempo Doeloe

2011-05-24T12:30:00.000+07:00

Went to Malang Tempo Doeloe these 2 days: Friday & Saturday. Before I splatter about what did I do there, I’m going to tell you what is that anyway.

Malang Tempo Doeloe (now we shorten it into MTD, shall we?) is yearly moment where Ijen Boulevard turns into old style street, full with old style shops and old style people, too. As it’s called means ‘Old Times Malang’. It’s annouced to celebrate Malang City’s anniversary.

First day went there with my desired pals, we wore ‘Batik’ according to the theme of old style. We took a walk around to see the stalls; there might be some who sell something catchy. There were.

Yes, old style cuisine was total rocks. There were ‘gulali’, ‘es gandol’, ‘sari tebu’, and so on. But those weren’t what I was looking for: something that was eye-catchy and unique. My choice was placed on a ‘Blangkon’; male (I know I’m female, nuff said) headwear made from batik. In the night, we spent all the starry sky by riding ferris wheel, ‘Colombus’, and finally dinner (with snacks, dang!)

Next day, I went there with eHe, my beloved clique, to enjoy what I had enjoyed previous day. But MTD always has a surprise and is no same everyday. So why not, I was still going there to enjoy oldie bike parade.
And in the middle of parade, there was mayor skipped out the parade and waving to us, the citizens. As a pedestarian he walked exactly in front of me and suddenly I shouted ‘HEY MAN YEAH MAN!’ and waving toward him.
Dude, he replied ‘HI THERE KID!’
What a big man.

Afterwhile nothing special. But we went to the museum (it was my 2nd visit) and I now know how awesome it was. Old style ROCKS.

Morning Glory

2011-05-20T11:43:00.001+07:00

I wake up this morning and realize yesterday was over and tomorrow is waiting.

Wishing you blessed in bliss.

Against All Odds

2011-05-17T14:42:00.000+07:00

There there, my little whiskey
Among the moon you have had your walk
So proud I am stuck, I cannot breath
Bye bye, my little whiskey
But would you of remember
Me like I would do?

Because you are my Jack Daniel's and I am your lemonade tea;

I miss you, hey my little addict
I need you, hey my little shortcake
I wait you, hey my little phoenix
But would you of do
Like what I do for you,
Hey my little whiskey

Because you are my Jack Daniel's and I am your lemonade tea;
You are my everything and I am your nothing to be compared

Quotes. 001

2011-05-10T18:49:00.001+07:00

Passion in my eyes,
I lived it everyday,
How could you go,
And threw it all away...

"In my dream IT'S ME AND YOU
It's there I saw IT ALL COME TRUE"

As time went by faith in you grew, so one thing left for me to do.

-Avenged Sevenfold: Betrayed

Endless Jealousy

2011-05-03T20:09:00.000+07:00

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess, in white gown, snow tiara. She had everything, from the living things into abstract, leaving a shadow beneath those will. But she still grumpy, marked in skin, she needed something more.

She was envy. Jealous, to a simple woman, humble heart, living in the depth of the forest where bears and wolves and starry skies were her friends.

Once upon a time, there a jungle covered by rain, where bears and wolves and starry skies decorated the rest of the leaves. A simple woman, humble heart, laid in the meadow. She shined like a sun beam, she smiled as sweet as sugar cane. But she still cried, flowed through her face, she needed something more.

She was feared, afraid, to the greatest power of a daughter; pride and love of those lovers more than kisses and hugs. She imagined how to be a child, how to be a daughter, how to be innocent, where sins and scenes never appeared.

--

There, nowadays, a daughter cry, begging for a white crown and snow mascara. She wants to be a beautiful princess.

29042011

2011-04-30T22:02:00.003+07:00

I love everything about kingdom, especially England.
Because in kingdom, everything seems come to reality.

Where the big castle built, never escape from ages.

Where a beautiful down-to-earth princess lived,

Where tragedy comes in complicated.
Where the people rushed about monarchy.

And finally,

A happy ending.

Where the dreams come true, fictions through reality, darling.

Wish you all the best for your marriage, dear Duke and Duchess of Cambridge :)

Sacrifice

2011-04-19T20:00:00.001+07:00

When you are with me
I'm free, I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others
We'll fly
This brings tears
To my eyes
My sacrifice
-Creed, My Sacrifice

Dear beloved readers,
Sacrifice is the highest efforts there ever been, and the sincere heart needed.
Not all of the people would do, but everyone does need.

Gamble, is like a sacrifice.
We don't know what will happen next after we lend our soul to the dearest one.

But then, my friends, with the big heart and ready for the worst, you would not even regret the most unpredictable one that comes next.
You would remember it as a dream, brings your tears, and then you would realize that everyone loves you more after.

Sacrifice, is also the main part of my love story. It's really hurt, but for my beloved one, I would never able to resist it.
Thank you, my dear. I love you eventhou you may never care.

2011-04-16T23:54:00.000+07:00

Music does understands me when the other blurs into their personal.

Hello Infinity

2011-04-15T20:33:00.000+07:00

Superb, amazing partner of mine, there when wind blows or sun burns. She whispers, and she sees. Everything through the world of blog she has. She is genius.

Stand, Watch, And Being Invisible

Mystery Garden

2011-04-13T17:17:00.000+07:00

Old part of the road burnt in sun, giving away spirit. Timeless.

Where I want to hide, where I die nobody cares. No one.

One day, I will runaway with your heart, crawl through the path. To an endless.

I don't know how to speak, in case gesture tells everything. Everyone.

Every dream I take, is fiction through reality.

Tales Of A River

2011-04-05T16:51:00.000+07:00

It was all started by a lure to jump, freedom, unlimited, and sky. For the sake of eternity, around us was all infinity.

Above head there laid an endless space I could not touch, beneath my breath turquoise liquid spread over the ground.

I sank, deep, dark, twilight, and dawn. Trees, timeless floated in the middle of rest and awaken.

I was free. I was unlimited. I was a river.

Now I want to jump back, but it's nothing. I have been a river.

He Was, He IS

2011-04-03T10:00:00.000+07:00

He was so perfect
He was so amazing
He was so stunning
He was so dashing
His eyes were too sparkling to be true
His lips were too passionate to smile
His face was too gorgeous to be taken
He was too great, to be mine.

He was, is the way he IS.

Boy Friend not Boyfriend :)

2011-04-02T17:24:00.000+07:00

I just learned some new technique (or maybe I'm the late one, whatever ;P) in Photoshop to manipulate photos or just edited and decorated it. This time I'm gonna show you a camaraderie, between a boy and a girl that never break by the time :)
Starring Naza, an amazing boy who is my benchmate and one that ALWAYS supports me; and I myself of course.

What do you think of those?

Now you see, boy friend is sometimes way much better than a boyfriend, especially for those who doesn't have like me *wtf* :)

Letter From L.O.V.E.

2011-03-31T20:33:00.000+07:00

Oh please, love cannot see any friendship.

What Can I Do To Make You Love Me?

2011-03-20T18:52:00.000+07:00

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

I still couldn't believe we weren't destined together.
I had tried all of my ability, and caught a sight of future in bright.
I still didn't know, was I wrong trying hard?

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

I still couldn't believe that I was standing still, doing nothing here.
Staring into the moon, accompanied me in the black of the night.
I just stood there and trying to close my eyes,
Drifted away into dreams.

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

I was restless, powerless, lost of ability to speak and pray.
Useless it seemed, I silenced. I couldn't say anything but whisper flew away into night,
Into sky,
Wish you heard.

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there....

~The Corrs - What Can I Do~

'Nuff Said

2011-03-15T21:41:00.000+07:00

Hand-Tattoo

2011-03-07T22:10:00.000+07:00

Now there are some style going on my school.

Yes baby, it's HAND-TATTOO.
But no, it's not real hand tattoo. Just a marker that scribbled our fingers and we could show it as tattoo.

This is where I want to be.

We're 15, we have tattoo, we are expressionism (yes?)

Damn You, Camaraderie

2011-01-22T18:25:00.000+07:00

Funny I wrote the title while some times ago I happily (even with a proud) proclaimed that camaraderie is one of the life magic and kind of other good things.

But seriously I meant it. Camaraderie, or good friendship, is like dagger. You can taste all of your life joyful. Useful, like dagger helps us in our life. But once it stabs, it doesn't get out easily and etches a deep sadness inside your heart.

Especially when it's about L.O.V.E., four single deathly word. So typical; your best friend takes your beloved one and you know it after it's been walking for a week. She doesn't tell you, but she talks about it behind. You feel betrayed.
That's all, but it scratch you! And you have no idea how to do next.

It hurts me much! I thought the one that I trust would be the one who I can share my feeling about the one that I love, not who fall in love with.
F**k you, Camaraderie!

Oh well, I guess I became pretty rude this time, didn't I? Apologize.

School Time

2011-01-10T20:54:00.001+07:00

9.35

Not the first but it starts early

Mother of brain chit chats of land we step on

Corner of eyes caught a sight of twin sisters

Behind, the knight & darkness having conversation

The leader stays in silence, the thinker

The writer comes in corner, the keeper

Far north a black star shining in laugh, as Kipli

Far south a spike sun fades in mind, as Johnny Christ

Straight in eyes melody and beats come in together

While the eight-eye owl and eagle keep spotting mother, some talks

People stay in vortex line, between the dimples

In the end, my soulmate The Great taking care of his pimples

This moment repeats, but not forever. Keeps it on words, hope heals my shattered heart.

My Sister's Keeper

2011-01-07T12:36:00.000+07:00

Another good twisting emotion film (and book) of a child who bets her family, sister, life, love, and future.

Maybe some of you have read the book or watched the film. But those who haven't, it's so recommended for you! A story of a little girl called Anna who sues her own mother, yes, HER TRUE BELOVED MOTHER in a case of taking over her own body. But in the same time, she must choose her sister, who is the reason she lives for, or her future. Yes, she was born to be a living donor for her dying sister.

Not twisted yet? Check out the film and you're gonna tearing all the time.

This is a good film who represents every person point of view, so there is no misunderstanding for the watchers, but still keeping a big secret that lures you to stand and sit down until the film ends!

Hello 2011

2010-12-31T01:00:00.000+07:00

All of us must been passing this year with both tears and laughs, success and fails, stars and bones. I just want to say, never forget those. Because it memorizes you later, and you don't want to lose any words to say in your biography, right?

Mostly your fails or things you regret. It leads you to a better life, how to not make second fail. And never repeat things that make you regret. So you'll be a careful person next, and be the success one.

But it doesn't mean "Oh fine, the success ones are needless to remember if I just need the regretted ones." What you've done in this years, what made you star-covered, everyone put attention on you and be proud... those things can make you happy and spirited up! Maybe you're in hard time, you bored and give up. But remember all good things you've done and how you made it! A harder work keeps bigger prize inside! And maybe you think like this "I have done this before, so I'm good at it, and I'll make it!"
And isn't that amazing? :D

Make a list which are things you've done this year. Both success and failed, and things you wanna do next year so you won't standing still and remembering passed year.

Like this:

Done:
+ Be the winner in band competition
+ Get a good rank on school
+ or maybe even, I cut my hair an it's goooood (Personal experience, yeah x) )
+ ....
+ ...

Regretted:
+ Wasted my time by sleeping (ooops...)
+ Browsed internet all day long, I forgot a presentation one, I worked it all night long, tomorrow the teacher didn't teach. (lame, yes. GOD!)
+ Swore too much, and it was embarrassing.
+ ....
+ ....

To Do:
+ Get a high score
- Review the lesson
- Read newspaper
- Study
+ Win a competition!
- ...
- ...
- ....
+ Better on music
- ....
- ...
- ....

PS: so you have to make HOW WILL YOU DO in the To Do list :)

And I hope it works, and I'm making it too. This is the great way to be better than before! 2010 was full of memories and feelings, but things go on and we must face the truth that we can't just memorizing. Keep moving on, and be better!

Wish well on this year, and good luck!

What Is This Sexy Man Wearing On His Head

2010-12-31T00:35:00.003+07:00

FEDORA.

Yesh, that makes sexy. I'm in love with that headwear now.

Paint It Move It Live It

2010-12-30T10:07:00.000+07:00

I watched this first time on animation lesson.
And yes, animation rules.

Camaraderie

2010-12-29T07:00:00.003+07:00

I just learn this word.
And yes, camaraderie, or friendship, never cares about the genders, situations, or even who you are.

It just happens.

Pretending to be not care, but it dances through my body, leaves the hole. Between the night I think, how shall I close it. I put smile, it lost. I put cry, it tears. Then I put them both, it closed. Years by years, not mistaken as cry either smile, but camaraderie between us.

4 AM

2010-12-28T04:00:00.003+07:00

4 AM.

Zacky’s phone rang loudly, breaking the cold air in the morning. It was a text message from Matt.

It’s almost 4 now. Get here quickly or you missed the moment.

Zack replied.

What moment? I thought we just memorizing Jimmy.

Within a minute, his phone rang.

A firework. It says Jimmy We Heart You so get your ass here quickly. Oh and tell Brian. I haven’t seen him for a night. I’m afraid he’s taking rule in bar now.

Kay. He replied.

28th December 2009 was definitely the saddest part of the band life. Their most powerful, greatest, and bizarre drummer Jimmy ‘The Rev’ Sullivan had passed away. It was just like a dream; he just finished writing ‘Fiction’ which was titled as ‘Death’ and later 3 days he had gone.

Zacky woke up and rubbed his eyes. He was still tired but the moment was only once a year. And he started to cry remembering the day Jimmy gone.

“Jimmy I miss you.” He whispered. He just couldn’t take the death of his best friend.

Suddenly a figure hugged him from dark of his bedroom.

Brian.

“You don’t have to worry.” He said. “We’re still together in this world. We can’t buy back time.” He whispered to the rhythm guitarist and hugged him tighter. “We love you.”

Zacky slowly stopped crying. He knew exactly, that at least people who surround him still loved him. “I know,” he said. “I am so sure about that.”

Brian kissed his neck and stood up, holding Zacky’s hand to make him stand up. “Alright then, let’s go to the memorial. They have been waiting us.”

Zacky didn’t say anything but nodded and grabbed his guitar on. Jimmy was his best friend and he hadn’t given him anything special. And he was a guitarist. He had a plan to play guitar on Jimmy’s grave.

EnerGEEtic List Song

2010-12-27T10:49:00.001+07:00

Here I put some energetic and spirited up songs. Either only the lyric or music, or even both, it's all good to start your day, or burn your spirit as well.

Some of them are Indonesian, which only few but the selected ones, and if you don't understand any Bahasa, just listen to their music and it works well as any other song on the list.

One thing for sure: the songs are so beating up. So get your snickers, wear your hat, and go outside to make a day!

1. Mika - Love Today
2. Avenged Sevenfold - Welcome To The Family
3. Avenged Sevenfold - Walk
4. Good Charlotte - Face The Strange
5. Superman Is Dead - Bukan Pahlawan/Not Superhero (Indonesia)
6. Avenged Sevenfold - Burn It Down
7. Good Charlotte - Riot Girl
8. Avenged Sevenfold - Almost Easy
9. Akon ft. Colby 'O Donnis & Cardinal Offishal - Beautiful
10. Avenged Sevenfold - Dancing Dead

11. Natasha Beddingfield - Unwritten
12. Pee Wee Gaskins - Satir Sarkas/Satire Sarkasm (Indonesia)
13. Good Charlotte - I Just Wanna Live
14. Muse - Hysteria
15. Black Eyed Peas - I Got A Feeling
16. Cash Cash - Party In Your Bedroom
17. Good Charlotte - The Anthem
18. Superman Is Dead - Punk Hari Ini/Today Punk (Indonesia)
19. Smash Mouth - Everyday Superhero
20. Avenged Sevenfold - Trashed & Scattered

21. Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem
22. Rihanna - Shut Up And Drive
23. Good Charlotte - Walk Away
24. One Republic - All The Right Moves
25. Ke$ha - Tik Tok
26. Good Charlotte - The River
27. New Found Glory - Kiss Me
28. Guns 'N Roses - Welcome To The Jungle

Pee Wee Gaskins

Mika

Muse

Smash Mouth

Cash Cash

Superman Is Dead

Songs © Their Bands

It takes

2010-12-27T10:11:00.000+07:00

It takes an hour to know you,

takes a day to understand you,

takes a week to trust you,

takes months to love you,

but it takes a second to ruin everything.

Wizard Of Oz

2010-12-26T20:43:00.001+07:00

Okay, I know exactly how late I am to know this glorious story book, considering I am an Indonesian and I don't know anything about American storytelling. But this book is an EPIC, I totally in love with it.

I bought this book yesterday and I have known about the book before. I was thinking like, "Maybe just like another storybook." but still I put that on my list and went to cashier instead.

Boy, I was wrong. When I read the beginning, it had touched me deeply. How L. Frank Baum tells the story: so innocent and so the way it is. It doesn't take any longer to picture how the story is when you read every word in it.

And it's full with imagination! Good for bedtime story, every ages can read it and will never feel bored. It takes you to your anxiety every time you read it. The story is simple, but sure makes you satisfied with the uncommon story, unlike another storybook you'll read.

Another story of Wizard Of Oz:

Wicked : The Life and Times of The Wicked Witch of The West looks cool, also.

Story About Kiss #3

2010-12-25T11:12:00.000+07:00

Summary: Zack kissed Brian. Zack thought that's the good way to release all of Brian's problem. But he was wrong. He left him.

Part 3

It had been a week I didn’t go to the studio because Jimmy told me that Brian was really upset. He didn’t want to see my face so I decided to off for a while. The record was delayed for few weeks to wait Brian calmed.
I had texted him, called him, even posted a message just to apologize. But he never replied. He totally ignored me. He didn’t care for me anymore.
Sometimes, when I passed the studio, I could see his face was glaring to me. The angriness was flaring in his eyes. But I also seen that hope was around his eyes, too. He missed me. I was really sure about that. But sometimes I thought that I was the one who missed him, not he.

In one afternoon, there was a blizzard. The traffic was closed; couldn’t get out of my home. I was with Icky my dog in front of fireplace. Even the tv was turned on, I didn’t enjoy it. Usually, Brian called me when there was a blizzard. Asking my condition, my home, and the temperature.
But now it was all useless. I looked my phone for many times, but it was still in the same. No call was there. I felt lonely. I tried to called him, and suddenly…
“Hello, Zack.”
“Brian? Is that you?!”
“Yeah, whore. What the hell you want from me? A kiss, again? You can get girl not man, psycho!” He rumbled.
“But Brian, all I want to say is a sorry!”
“Shut the hell up!”
“Brian, I need you! I… I love you, Brian! I can’t stand like this! I miss you so much, Brian!”
“…”
He didn’t answer. Maybe I was too aggressive? I didn’t know, I was waiting for his answer.
“Shut up…” He replied. Then he closed the call.

I was so depressed. What did I do? I made myself burned in the gas! I made it more terrible! God Dammit! I threw the phone, and leaned on the wall. Icky glared me as if he was saying “Amazing, Zacky.”

I must do something.

I looked outside. The yard-covered snow was looked promising. I went out and felt the freezing wind suddenly. But I stood, still walking.
“Maybe I should go to his place. I should talk, explain him the truth so I can get him back.” I tried to opened the door.

Studio was almost a mile long, but in this hard blizzard I’d feel it farther. My legs were heavy to be lifted, and my movement was like chained. I couldn’t move, but I tried harder and harder every second.

Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d been walking for about 200 meters long but I gave up. Nobody was outside except me, a foolish who wanted to apologize to his ex-best friend because of his foolishness.
I fell into the ground, let the snow bury me there. The wind was so freezing that the winter ghost wouldn’t even dare to come out. I buried my face, hoping that somebody would help me. Even though, I knew that there would be nobody help me.

So cold.
So dark.

I closed my eyes, I was tired. I was frozen.

Alone, here.
Nobody cares.

I hoped that the reaper would come.

It’s so dark.
I can’t take it anymore…
I’m gonna die here…
Of this cold…

“ZACKY!”
Somebody’s voice opened my eyes even I couldn’t wake.
“Zacky, please don’t die!”
He pulled me out and I could see his face.
“Brian!” I yelled in weak. “Brian… I’m so sorry… I… I…” I sobbed, couldn’t finish.
“Sssh… you’re okay with me now, Zack. You’re freezing, you’re cold. Let me take you home…” He carried me home. He smiled to me, with all tears in his eyes.
“Brian… Don’t go anymore…” I cried.
“I won’t. You looked tired, Z. Go sleep… Don’t worry, I’m gonna keep you in safe.”
I coughed, and wiping the tears. “But Brian… I…”
He closed my mouth with his hand. “Sssh… Just go sleep, Zack. Sleep.”
I nodded. I circled my arms around his neck, and fell asleep.

“Welcome home, Boy.” Brian’s voice waking me up. “You’re here with me now, don’t be afraid.”
I opened my eyes. I tried to see his face better. I wiped out the water in my eyes. “Is… is that you, Brian?”
“Yes, Zack. It’s me. Brian Elwin Hanner, Jr. Synyster Gates. Your best friend.” He stroked my hair and hugged me. “Don’t say you forget me already.”
I cried. I was too happy for this reality-like-dream moment. I couldn’t believe that he was here now, with me! With his smile, kindness, warmness….
“How did you find me?”
“After I got your call, I went to your house by your motorbike but there was nobody there. You even forgot to lock your door, so I guessed that you were in hurry and went somewhere near from here. I followed your steps in the snow and found you… buried yourself in the snow. You know that was really dangerous! You can’t get out easily in this blizzard!” He said seriously, worrying my safe.
“It would be more dangerous to lost you instead of killing myself…” I confessed.
He shocked. “What the hell do you mean?”
“I… I was going to your place to apologize. I couldn’t take it anymore; I need you! I don’t want to make it worse, I think this is the final. If you wouldn’t apologize me, I died. If you would, then everything’s gonna be better.” I sobbed. “I make everything worse…”
He stared my eyes. His beautiful dark eyes were calming me down. “Don’t think everything gonna be worse…” He said, and smiled. “Because I’m here to make it better.”
He suddenly hugged me, and kissed me. His tears were falling down in my cheeks. I kissed him back. This one was more gently than before. I stroked his hair like I did before, and so did he. The kiss was hot but calming. I felt everything would be okay after this.
I pulled my lips, and I saw how satisfied his face was. I couldn’t say anything. This one was much better than passion. This one was about love, to spend your life for your mate. To not lose him anymore. To protect him. To be together with him.
“I’m sorry I was ignoring you. I was… I was thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
He kissed my hair. “Thinking, what do I feel for you…”
“And then?”
“I… I love you since the first time we met.”
I looked his face in disbelieving. “You do? But Michelle…”
“I felt the same way to her. I couldn’t believe that I love man. I tried to love girl, and Michelle was my best friend. So slowly I loved her, but not falling in love with her.” He giggled. “Everytime I always remember you. I don’t want to lose her but I’d die if I lost you. That’s why I waited you in the studio before Michelle and I broke up. I don’t want to lose you, and we’re not always have time together. I think that you are destined for me. I can find another Michelle but not Zacky Baker.
“When you kissed me, I felt something different. I kissed her, but that wasn’t same with your kiss. Last one was… more pleasurable. Like waking the fallen part of myself. But I couldn’t believe that you kissed me. Also, I was in dizzy between the you and her…
“And then I realized, that I was mad not because I hate you, but I was too afraid to admit that I love you.” He showed his sweetest smile I ever seen.
I laughed happily. “So I didn’t make everything terrible, no?”
“Of course not, Zacky. You make it all better.”
“So, the kiss makes everything goes better, right?” I asked.
“Yes, Zacky. Yes. The ones that say kiss makes horrible… are the ones who haven’t found the true love yet.” He grinned to Zacky. “And I have felt them both just to ensure who will be my true love.”
We kissed again, pressing our lips in passion. We played our tongues as we opened our shirts. In the middle of hot passionate kiss, I asked something, “How did you find my bike?”
Brian laughed and kissed my neck. Then he whispered, “You forgot that you left your motor in studio, Old Zacky?” He still kissing my neck when I slapped my forehead and laughed.
“Thank you, Mr. Remembering. For your present, you can have me a night long.”
Brian laughed loudly. He kissed my chest, and pressing his lips against mine. We were in deep kissing for long time and believing, that we were destined together.

“The only moment I couldn’t forget in the rest of my life…”

2010-12-24T22:12:00.000+07:00

Latihan Dasar Kepemimpinan OSIS MPK (Leadership Training for Student Organizations) 2010-2011 in Songgoriti, Batu.

Batu is such a great place to get back to nature. Survive in the wild, be the leader of yourself.

Don't forget to bring jacket there. Such a beautiful danger, cold will never stop appears.

Logic Vs. Heart

2010-12-23T22:54:00.000+07:00

"Love", my friend said. "Is a hypnotic. It's just like what do you think and believe so you do and go with it." She said.

I must admit I'm a logical person, I seldom use my own heart, feeling, intuition, or something kind of girl thing like that. So when I see something about love, I just don't get how suppose to face it.

Especially broken heart.
Thing that no one loves it.

Everyone knows exactly how it hurts. No explanation.
And after I listened what my friend had said, I just think like this "Okay, boy is not my whole world. It's later, okay? Everything's fine, just give him to your BEST FRIEND (this is why it comes so hard for me) and find another one or just stand there and do something else."

My logic tells me what should I do. My logic tries to reach the control of my whole body. For a moment, it makes me smile imagine the future is getting better if I don't care about love.

But somehow, it still hurts.

Jealousy still burns a part inside my body. Either it's heart or not, I don't care. It just hurt.

Love is sure something that isn't rational, and either irrational.

When you just don't let it happen, it rejects you to the farthest distance you never reach for love itself.
When you think eveything is gonna be okay, when it happens, it hurts.

I Really Wanna See It But Can I?

2010-12-21T10:13:00.000+07:00

Seriously, Secondhand is coming to Indonesia exactly on SURABAYA whiiich is closer to my city and I just need an hour to get to the spot.

Wish I could go there, phew.

It's also coming to Bandung! :D

Music

2010-11-25T14:15:00.001+07:00

Some people say “Music is my life” as their taglines. They listen to music, find the lyric, love the bands, and all that things. Yeah, music takes place on their life. But for me, it’s not that simple. It has the deeper meaning than only adores the music.

It’s about way of life. It’s like I have destined to keep up with, and I can’t stay away from music. It takes me to my real personality, and how I see the world.
How my life can be complicated and successful, to feel a rainbow feeling that not all of the people ever felt it.

So do people around me. I’m a keyboardist, my dad is a bassist, my little brother is vocalist, my best friends are drummers, and my crush is guitarist. I also found my true best friends from music. No matter how hard I try to avoid the format, it just happened.

It also takes place in my love story. I found him from music. It entwines us, both in past and present. So does my life. People know me from what I have been in music, and that’s my career.

My band is my family. It takes time to get connected with my friends to be best friends. But in my band, it does shortly with no need to introduce ourselves. It seems the music or instruments we play reflect the personality of us.
They seem like common people, but once they play the music, they speak via music they play and it shows how burning they are.

I can’t imagine my life if I didn’t learn piano. My piano is my best friend. He understands me more than anyone. He is also my reason to stay moving forward on everything in my life.He always passionate me, I love him more than any other music instrument.
That’s it; I was born to play that instrument.

Story About Kiss #2

2010-11-23T23:50:00.000+07:00

Summary: Brian told Zacky about how did he feel for his girlfriend when dropping Zacky to home.

Part 2

Next day in the studio, Jimmy met me in the parking area. He said that there was a big problem needed to be solved. I asked what, but he only said that Matt would talk about it.
When we headed to the living room, Matt stopped me. He reached my hand and held it hardly. “What the hell did you do to him?” He stared me as if I was his prey to be.
“Did what? Whom?”
“He, Brian, of course. You were the only one who with him last night.”
“What? Yeah I was, but what happened?”
I looked to the sofa in the living room. Brian was there, sleeping. I turned my face to see Matt. “He’s sleeping.” But then Brian woke and I could see his face.
He seemed unhappy. Red eyes, terrible hair, some broken beer bottles… I stared Matt. He shrugged.
“He’s been like that since he’s here. We’re trying to calm him down but he always looked depressed. You didn’t give him any fucking drugs, did you?”
“Of course I didn’t. I have no idea of his depression.”
“Calm him down, Zack. He doesn’t want to play any song or say anything before he meets you.”
“He wants to meet me?” I pointed myself in frightened. I was afraid that I did something hurt him.
“Yeah. I’m heading home, so are they both.” He pointed at Jimmy and Johnny who were in car already. They seemed talking about Brian, too. “Sorry for taking your time, but he’s your best friend.” He patted me.
Then Matt went off and gone. Only Brian and I.

Slowly I walked to the living room. He was holding his knees like he was scared. He looked me and closed his eyes.
“Are you sure about your words last night?”
“Which words?”
“The one with ‘believing’ on it.”
“Oh, well, yes I do.” I nodded even he didn’t see me. “What’s happened?”
He palmed his face and then sighed hardly. “Oh God, I think you weren’t right. She’s a fucking bitch.” He wiped his red eyes. “We broke up last night.”
I stared him. “Unbelievable. How come?”
“I dunno, she was really mad when she knew I dropped you home first. She didn’t want anybody first except her. I told her that you’re my best friend but she didn’t care. She said that she had been waiting for an hour when I fucking knew it was only fifteen minutes.
“See, she doesn’t love me back! Now I don’t know who the hell I should love with.” He pulled his spiky black hair and without combed it back, let it ruffled.
I sat next to him. “Calm down. Maybe playing guitar will calm you a bit.” I patted his back.
He glared me. “SHE EVEN TOOK MY GUITARS!! ONLY THIS ONE I LEFT IN THE STUDIO!” He roared, showed his black stripped guitar to me, and threw across the room. “Fuck everything here!”
He drank a beer, and threw the bottle.
“Not only that. My fucking credit card! She took it and the bills are enough to kill me! My dad was really angry when he knows this. He said that I was loved the wrong girl. I wouldn’t go home for a while. I’m gonna stay here.” He crawled and put his head on my thigh.
He closed his eyes but not yet sleep.
“You can stay in my house, Bri.” I stroked his hair.
He opened his eyes and glared me. “Are you fucking serious?”
I nodded.
He grinned.

On my way home, he only drank, drank, and drank bottles of beers. I thought those were about three and a half bottles, but he looked drunk already. I didn’t talk to him because he only shouted and grumbled all the time. I didn’t have a heart to see him in pain.
When we arrived my home, I let him sleep in my couch. He was happily ran into my couch and yelled “MY PLACE TO BE RROVEED… RROVEE….”
I left him in the living room alone while I washed my face in the bathroom.
“Zack?” He groaned. I approached him. “Zack, is thaat yyyooo…?” He talked in eyes-closed.
“Yeah, Brian. It’s me. Are you needing my help?”
“SHE AIN’T MY TRUE RROVE, WWIIGHT?! I STILL HAS ANDDOTHER, WWIIGHT?!!” He roared, dropped his Jack Daniel’s.
I didn’t know how I should respond. I jumped next to him. “Do you still love her?”
“I dunno. I dunno. I DUNNO!!” He hissed, and groping something in the air. It was still in eyes-closed. “Shhuutt the hell-aps!!”
I waited him to be calmed. “Then I will.” He snored. I thought he was sleeping already. Afterwards, I whispered. “You’re gonna find the best for you…”
“TROUBLES ARE ON EVEWWYWARE! WHAT A FUCKING BEST SHIT!!” He suddenly screamed, made me startled. Shit he hadn’t slept yet. He threw his broken bottle, and got hurt by a piece of glass. “Argh, shit! WHY THE HELL YOO DEEADD TO MEEH??” He opened his eyes, staring to the broken bottles.
“Are you okay?” I worried. It was a relief that his hand wasn’t bleeding because it would be worse. “Don’t think the problem, Bri. Forget it. You still have us. We’re gonna finish it.” I smiled to him. I could see blush on his face.
He didn’t answer but closing his eyes.
For that moment I could see that this was the weakest point of Brian. He couldn’t do anything. He needed us, his best friends. He looked hopeless, powerless. He’d lost his life. His innocent face… I wanted to make him better.
“Brian…”
He looked me. “Yeah…?”
I moved my face closer to his. He just looked me curiously. “What are you gonna do, Zack?”
I stopped for a while. “I don’t know.” I touched his warm cheek. He moved his face closer to mine as I also did.
“Brian… I…”
I held his hand hardly, and stroked his spiky hair.With all of my braveness, I pressed my lips against his. At first he kissed me back, but then he stopped it even though he didn’t fight it, let my lips pressed his lips deeper.
His lips were so soft, and letting my tongue licked it. He took out his own tongue and let ours entwined.
I felt something strange; I wanted to protect him in all of my life. I wanted to make him forget his problems. I wanted to give my life to him.

It was about 30 seconds long before he pushed me away. “Get off! What the fucking are you gonna do? Making me as your whore after I broke up a whore?!” He stared me in disgust, suddenly sobered up. He frowned and shocked, he wouldn’t imagine this would be happened.
“I.. I’m so sorry, Brian! It was just happened!” I shocked and trying to protect myself. I was frozen. My mouth couldn’t make any better reason like I usually say.
“Like hell you said! You made me lost my angel, and now you’re trying to be an angel?! No way! Fuck you!”
He was ready with his fist, but after he held it in the air for some seconds, he stopped it. Brian glared me with all of his angriness, and closing his face to me.
I thought he would kiss me one more, but I was too high to hope.
“Move away from me for now.” He whispered.
I nodded, and that was the only thing I could do. Before he go, he asked me a simple but killing question, “Why did you do that…?”
I shrugged. But his glare was threatening me and I didn’t want to piss him more. “Because… Because I… love you…” My voice throttled.
And I moved away from him. He did nothing but mumbling. He wore his jacket and slammed the door.
I felt clumsy and blammed myself,
What the hell am I doing?!

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-01T11:35:00.000+07:00

Wassup, guys? Been a long time no here, kinda busy as always.

By the way, yesterday was Halloween and I couldn't celebrate it. WTF. I'm sick and now I have to stay home all day long. Also, rain poured us for a day.

But hey, I have a good and bad news. Good one is, SAW 7 3D IS ON THE SCREEN NOW!

Yeah, it's one of most wanted movie for Halloween theme! John Kramer a.k.a. Jigsaw is going to rush our mind and takes us into 3D Halloween, truly nightmare! I don't know when I'm going to watch this movie, but definitely most watch movie for the year. Oh yeah, this is the final chapter of its series. Finally the evil found his end.

But the bad news also here. Merapi, most active volcano in the world, has just erupted and it made so many people died. Includes Mbah Marijan (Granny Marijan), the old man who spent the rest of his life to take care of Merapi. He was a hero, anyway. His life was for Merapi and now the volcano took him grateful.

So this Halloween wasn't the good one, I think. I always celebrated it cheerily, but now I think this time I should not to.

Well anyway, the happiness should not be dead! Wear your scariest costume and make people run!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Life Is Like A Book

2010-09-24T22:51:00.002+07:00

Seriosly amazing.

I never thought that our lives were like books.

And THEY ARE.

I mean, look, I know we turn the new page everyday. But how will we fill the page by?

With a happy story?

With a sad story?

With an amazing story?

Or with a FICTION?

Sometimes we through the day with a Fiction.

Have you ever had a day with all the betrayal, love, pride, self esteem, priority, lie, misunderstanding went one that made madness and complicated?

Just like the book,

There are some pages that hard to understand.

And it's not about how do we feel it.

It's about what will we fill our next action in the pages, without running out of ink, and close the old ones.

Story About Kiss #1

2010-09-16T11:11:00.002+07:00

Title: Story About Kiss - A Synacky Story part 1
Pairing: Synyster Gates x Zacky Vengeance from Avenged Sevenfold
Disclaimer: This is handmade.
Summary:

Zacky’s POV
People say kiss makes you feel better. While the other says kiss makes you feel terrible.
I couldn’t say anything, because I never had kissed before. I must confess, I didn’t interested in neither women nor men. I thought this wasn’t the right time to get a mate. I didn’t need it.

It was snowy evening winter. I came to the studio with my band mates to record a song. We enjoyed every single second we had and forgot the cold snow out there. When we had done, we sat on the sofa together.
Talking about our activities was fun. I didn’t realize it was 9 pm already. Matt went home first, and then Johnny and Rev were following him. It was only Syn, or Brian, and I.

“Well, aren’t you going home?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I think I should stay here for a while.”
I laughed. “Who told you?”
“My head did.”
He stood up, and picked up his guitar in the floor.

Suddenly Brian’s phone rang. I looked at him. “Can I excuse?” He answered. “Oh hi, Michelle. Yeah, I’m in studio with Z now. You’re in cinema? Okay, I’m gonna pick you up now.” He closed the phone.

He looked at me, and smiled. “You’re gonna pick her up, now?” I asked.
“Yeah, Zack. I think this is what my head means.”
“To wait Michelle?”
“Yeah. Maybe this is true love means. My head ordered me here to wait Michelle because he knows she’ll need my help.” He picked his guitar bag. “Are you gonna night here?”
“Of course not, Brian. Could you drop me first? I think my motor has been covered by snow.” I took a look outside.
“Well, that’s fine. The cinema is near of your house, no?” I nodded. “Come on, then. Don’t forget your jacket. Here.” He threw my jacket to me.
“Won’t Michelle angry to me, because I take your time?” I asked in worry.
He shook. “I don’t think so. Well, if so, I’m gonna protect you.”

In his car, we talked much about our life even we already knew each other.
“So… why do you pick guitar as your favorite instrument?” I asked anxiously.
“Well,” He put off his cigarette. “My dad taught me guitar. So I decided to learn it deeper and fall in love with it.” He chuckled. “How about you?”
“Me? Well…” I bit my lower lip. “I must confess that I admire you, Brian. In high school, I’d seen you playing guitar in the middle of the girls. You were so amazing. So I tried to learn guitar. Before I know you, I had learned it but I thought it was fucking hard. And I had to change my mind after I know you.” I smiled.
“Girls, huh?” He grinned without looking to me. “Girls are nothing. I did it because I love playing guitar. They were coming to me not the opposite.”
I turned my face over him. “Wow, I thought you loved it. Isn’t it good to have many girlfriends?”
“Well, not exactly. Girls are wild. They do whatever they want. They push me to do anything I even hate.”
“How about Michelle?” I stared him. My eyebrows furrowed.
He silenced, and then he smiled and faced me. “I don’t even know do I really love her or not. I love her, and I want her to be mine. I want everyone know that she’s mine. I need someone special.”
“Wow, true love, you said.” I giggled.
“Yes, true love. When I saw her for the first time, I felt like I’ve seen an angel. I really love her. But that’s not always true. Sometimes she really pisses me off. I ignore her. In this point, she becomes really mad and doesn’t want to meet me for a week. I know this fucking line, so I don’t really care for it.
“But still, even though I love her, I don’t feel that she’d be mine forever.”

I nodded, understanding his story. “Is she always making you feeling better?”
“She cares for our relationship, my career, without knowing the real me. I mean, she only adores me and like to having me on her own. In other side, I feel like be deserted, but she needs me like I need her.”

I was silenced for a moment. “Have you ever kissed her?”
Suddenly he stopped his moving car in the traffic light so hard until I almost head the window. “Oh well, that would be a long story.”
“Tell me.”
“I kissed her once.”
“That short?”
“Listen, I didn’t feel something special in that kiss. It was only like, ‘Hey, I’m your boyfriend. You’re mine, never forget me. This would be the great day ever.’ Only like that. That wasn’t what I expect. I want more. I never had kiss before but I know what it is should be.
“I think just because she had so many kisses before, she felt it normally. Not special. Like it wasn’t my first kiss, nothing was happened, dammit.”
“People say that kiss makes you feel better, while the others say that kiss makes you feel horrible.”
He laughed, and stepped on the gas. “Neither. Maybe passionating?”
“I must add it. Thanks.” I giggled. “Maybe you should have personal time with her.”
“Personal time? I spent over two years only for her! She asked me anything and I gave her what can I give! We spent about 4 months for holiday! Isn’t that fucking personal time?”
“Well, then I don’t know the next solution.” I felt guilty immediately.
He sighed. “I’m sorry, Zack. I was too mad. I feel we aren’t destined together but I really love her. I can’t get her out of my head. Even she cares for few parts of my life; I still didn’t feel like she loves me that much.”
I leaned my head over his shoulder. “Oh, Brian. You’re loved and blessed. If you really believe that Michelle is your true love… believe it.”
“Thank you, Z.” He chuckled.

Finally we arrived. I thanked him for dropping me home. Before he go, I apologized to bother him because if he needed to go to the cinema quickly, he didn’t need to turn right but straight and without a minute he would arrive.
“It’s not a problem. I didn’t want you to be an ice block on the studio, or we would burn you in fireplace.” He guffed.
“Aww… shut up!”
“Here, you forgot your jacket… again.” He handed me the jacket.
“Ow, thanks a lot, Dude.”
“No problem, Old Zacky.”
“Old what?!”
“You forgot something easily. Oldie.”
“Meanie!”
“Shut up. See you soon, Oldie!”
In far, I shouted, “Thanks, Mr. Remembering.”

Next day in the studio, Jimmy met me in the parking area. He said that there was a big problem needed to be solved. I asked what, but he only said that Matt would talk about it.

When we headed to the living room, Matt stopped me. He reached my hand and held it hardly. “What the hell did you do to him?” He stared me as if I was his prey to be.
“Did what? Whom?”
“He, Brian, of course. You were the only one who with him last night.”
“What? Yeah I was, but what happened?”
I looked to the sofa in the living room. Brian was there, sleeping. I turned my face to see Matt. “He’s sleeping.” But then Brian woke and I could see his face.
He seemed unhappy. Red eyes, terrible hair, some broken beer bottles… I stared Matt. He shrugged.
“He’s been like that since he’s here. We’re trying to calm him down but he always looked depressed. You didn’t give him any fucking drugs, did you?”
“Of course I didn’t. I have no idea of his depression.”
“Calm him down, Zack. He doesn’t want to play any song or say anything before he meets you.”
“He wants to meet me?” I pointed myself in frightened. I was afraid that I did something hurt him.
“Yeah. I’m heading home, so are they both.” He pointed at Jimmy and Johnny who were in car already. They seemed talking about Brian, too. “Sorry for taking your time, but he’s your best friend.” He patted me.
Then Matt went off and gone. Only Brian and I.

Slowly I walked to the living room. He was holding his knees like he was scared. He looked me and closed his eyes.
“Are you sure about your words last night?”
“Which words?”
“The one with ‘believing’ on it.”
“Oh, well, yes I do.” I nodded even he didn’t see me. “What’s happened?”
He palmed his face and then sighed hardly. “Oh God, I think you weren’t right. She’s a fucking bitch.” He wiped his red eyes. “We broke up last night.”
I stared him. “Unbelievable. How come?”
“I dunno, she was really mad when she knew I dropped you home first. She didn’t want anybody first except her. I told her that you’re my best friend but she didn’t care. She said that she had been waiting for an hour when I fucking knew it was only fifteen minutes.
“See, she doesn’t love me back! Now I don’t know who the hell I should love with.” He pulled his spiky black hair and without combed it back, let it ruffled.
I sat next to him. “Calm down. Maybe playing guitar will calm you a bit.” I patted his back.
He glared me. “SHE EVEN TOOK MY FUCKING GUITARS!! ONLY THIS ONE I LEFT IN THE STUDIO!” He roared, showed his black stripped guitar to me, and threw across the room. “Fuck everything here!”
He drank a beer, and threw the bottle.
“Not only that. My fucking credit card! She took it and the bills are enough to kill me! My dad was really angry when he knows this. He said that I was loved the wrong girl. I wouldn’t go home for a while. I’m gonna stay here.” He crawled and put his head on my thigh.
He closed his eyes but not yet sleep.
“You can stay in my house, Bri.” I stroked his hair.
He opened his eyes and glared me. “Are you fucking serious?”
I nodded.
He grinned.

On my way home, he only drank, drank, and drank bottles of beers. I thought those were about three and a half bottles, but he looked drunk already. I didn’t talk to him because he only shouted and grumbled all the time. I didn’t have a heart to see him in pain.
When we arrived my home, I let him sleep in my couch. He was happily ran into my couch and yelled “MY PLACE TO BE RROVEED… RROVEE….”
I left him in the living room alone while I washed my face in the bathroom.
“Zack?” He groaned. I approached him. “Zack, is thaat yyyooo…?” He talked in eyes-closed.
“Yeah, Brian. It’s me. Are you needing my help?”
“SHE AIN’T MY TRUE RROVE, WWIIGHT?! I STILL HAS ANDDOTHER, WWIIGHT?!!” He roared, dropped his Jack Daniel’s.
I didn’t know how I should respond. I jumped next to him. “Do you still love her?”
“I dunno. I dunno. I DUNNO!!” He hissed, and groping something in the air. It was still in eyes-closed. “Shhuutt the hell-aps!!”
I waited him to be calmed. “Then I will.” He snored. I thought he was sleeping already. Afterwards, I whispered. “You’re gonna find the best for you…”
“TROUBLES ARE ON EVEWWYWARE! WHAT A FUCKING BEST SHIT!!” He suddenly screamed, made me startled. Shit he hadn’t slept yet. He threw his broken bottle, and got hurt by a piece of glass. “Argh, shit! WHY THE HELL YOO DEEADD TO MEEH??” He opened his eyes, staring to the broken bottles.
“Are you okay?” I worried. It was a relief that his hand wasn’t bleeding because it would be worse. “Don’t think the problem, Bri. Forget it. You still have us. We’re gonna finish it.” I smiled to him. I could see blush on his face.
He didn’t answer but closing his eyes.

For that moment I could see that this was the weakest point of Brian. He couldn’t do anything. He needed us, his best friends. He looked hopeless, powerless. He’d lost his life. His innocent face… I wanted to make him better.
“Brian…”
He looked me. “Yeah…?”
I moved my face closer to his. He just looked me curiously. “What are you gonna do, Zack?”
I stopped for a while. “I don’t know.” I touched his warm cheek. He moved his face closer to mine as I also did.
“Brian… I…”
I held his hand hardly, and stroked his spiky hair. With all of my braveness, I pressed my lips against his. At first he kissed me back, but then he stopped it even though he didn’t fight it, let my lips pressed his lips deeper.
His lips were so soft, and letting my tongue licked it. He took out his own tongue and let ours entwined.
I felt something strange; I wanted to protect him in all of my life. I wanted to make him forget his problems. I wanted to give my life to him.

It was about 30 seconds long before he pushed me away. “Get off! What the fucking are you gonna do? Making me as your whore after I broke up a whore?!” He stared me in disgust, suddenly sobered up. He frowned and shocked, he wouldn’t imagine this would be happened.
“I.. I’m so sorry, Brian! It was just happened!” I shocked and trying to protect myself. I was frozen. My mouth couldn’t make any better reason like I usually say.
“Like hell you said! You made me lost my angel, and now you’re trying to be an angel?! No way! Fuck you!”
He was ready with his fist, but after he held it in the air for some seconds, he stopped it. Brian glared me with all of his angriness, and closing his face to me.
I thought he would kiss me one more, but I was too high to hope.
“Move away from me for now.” He whispered.
I nodded, and that was the only thing I could do. Before he go, he asked me a simple but killing question, “Why did you do that…?”
I shrugged. But his glare was threatening me and I didn’t want to piss him more. “Because… Because I… love you…” My voice throttled.
And I moved away from him. He did nothing but mumbling. He wore his jacket and slammed the door.
I felt clumsy and blammed myself,
What the hell am I doing?!

Randoming Upon The Town

2010-09-13T21:58:00.000+07:00

Whoever the couple is, they sure have a good day.

This is called sandwich. I know you knew it already.
Don't try to say it "That's sure fulfilling" cuz they're so tiny. But I must admit it has amazing taste.
Enough to keep your stomach stay silent for a while.

Today I went to a mall with my dad. Bought some headset and case for my phone. Got tricked, I paid more to something I shouldn't pay that much. Always compare the prices from different stores first. Trust me.

Faith

2010-09-12T21:00:00.001+07:00

Dear fellows, do you personally believe on your faith?

I, as one of Indonesian citizen do and must believe on my faith. In fact I don't really understand what faith itself and how did we call it as faith.

Call me not-too-religious person, yes I am. But I still have something to do to prove myself as a faithful person. I do admit myself that lack of faithfulness but I would not let anyone call me faithless.

What is faith?

Is that a believe that relates to God and His power? Yes.
Is that a believe that makes all of us self-confident? Yes.
Is that a believe that includes all of this world, especially God and His truly power of the world, considering there are lots of things we have known nothing about?

YES YES YES.

So many people make their own faith, has included all of these things above, but it was taken seriously by polices, called as "fake faith."
So many people fight, make a war, by the name of Him, and destroy everything around the world that was made by The Truly Powerful for us.
So many people fight for their faith, selfishly proud of their own faith and stepping on others' faith.

World has forgot what faith is.

I have opened my eyes.
I know I'm not a religious person, or haven't yet.
But I do realize, know, admit, what the truly faith is.

It's about peace. It's about succession on the mortal and immortal life later. It's about make everyone smile, together bright as one. It's about how to do all things above by believing God.

No religions teach us how to steal, how to kill, how to heart-peel. Only how to keep the world in peace.

No matter what religion you take,
No matter how you pray and call your God,

We live in peace, together under His Greatness :)

Ssstt... I know my chit chat on the top has no relation on the topic :p I just want to say still believe on your faith!

Nine Years Over The Tears

2010-09-11T22:47:00.001+07:00

It's been 9 years since that bloody tragedy. Yes, September The Eleventh (correct me if I wrong)

Though I didn't feel it, I do care for them. That's suck. Suck Taliban. Suck terrorist. As a Moslem I'm so embarrassed watching those bastards keep spreading the evil things by the name of God. F**k them. They should burn in Hell.

I just want the world to know, that this isn't my religion fault. This is about those people fault. Some of them are just... yeah, bitchy. But that doesn't mean because of Islam.

I heard that a church in America wanna burn many of Holy Qur'ans as the sign of Taliban hatred. Oh COME ON!
We live in peace. No religions teach us any violence. If you hate them, that's not the right way to show it.

We must fight the terrors. Not to play with the fire.
Difference are so common. So is misunderstanding. But those don't make us to be enemy to each others.

We're here, in the world, to live in peace, together as one.

My prayer goes to 9/11 victims. God bless you all.

Some Are Just Born Differently

2010-09-07T10:20:00.005+07:00

Some of them just are. That includes me.

I think it doesn't matter, as long we piss no one. It's not because they're freak. It's because technically want to be differently than others.

Or maybe they cannot be like everyone else. Everyone that normal.

But when you name something normal?

I know the different people are sometimes weird. They are.
Why don't we just call them, unique?

The Final

2010-09-05T12:45:00.003+07:00

All I have done...
Nothing better than this one.
Although I know...
Forgetting you is same as forgetting the part of myself.

If Only I Had To...

2010-09-05T12:34:00.002+07:00

What's world worth without you?
But you slowly fade away.
Do you know?
If only I had to...

All of my dreams is only YOU.
All of my life is only to live with YOU.
All of my wish is only YOU to know that I love YOU.

The New Beginning

2010-08-11T16:43:00.002+07:00

Long time no update guys ^^

First I wanna say HAPPY FASTING TO YOU WHO FAST TODAY!!!
Please forgive all of my mistakes, and hope you're blessed :)

Well, first day of fast is totally awesome now. Beside of no obstacles ahead...

MY BAND WON IN A BAND COMPETITION ON 7TH AUGUST 2010 :D
Although only in 6th place...

For us, it's a good start. We've been in competitions and just won once this. So although not in 1st place this is amazing.

Our efforts aren't useless. We practiced 2 hours everyday for a week. It was so tiring, spending our time, and all of those useless thing we had thought. But then, it was totally useful!

The key is on practice. No matter how great are you in music, with no practice, you lost. You think your performance is great already, but it will take no position on stage. Trust me, I have felt it for times.

A good start starts with failures. And that's how it moves, never afraid of failure!

Haha, this is great. This motivates me, and I hope this motivates you, too! I hope in future I could be better than now.

Anyway, like I have said before, good start starts with failures. This could be happen in 1st day of fast. So painful, but then I'll be adapted. So don't be afraid to admit that it's killing yourself! :D

Happy fasting, and keep moving on!

Nightmare On The Way!

2010-07-26T21:24:00.002+07:00

YES THIS IS NIGHTMARE.

Nightmare is on the way! The newest Avenged Sevenfold album is ready to take you to your worst fear! Although the new album may be totally different than the previous one (lyric, meaning, music genre) but totally kick ass.

If you are an A7X fan, go buy the copy of album one. Do not download it illegally. Just buy one, share it to your friends. Whether they are A7X fans or not, it doesn't matter. Just let them borrow one, and they will be one of us.

Show your support to the world. Have Twitter? Why don't you tweet #THEA7XNIGHTMARE and/or #foREVer
By the way, the Live Version of Nightmare is here already! Cooler, scarier, and more nightmare inside, of course. Moreover, this keeps the sad story inside even though you know the song is so energetic.

Don't forget, buy the original ones, fight against piracy :)

I Don't Feel That Way

2010-07-01T16:10:00.002+07:00

Holiday is coming. Funny I just don't feel that way.

I used to spend my holiday by activities such as:

Sleeping
Cycling
Eating all day long
Playing games
Sleeping again
Go somewhere
Sleeping while on the way somewhere
And things you do in laziness..

Yeah I know there is no good thing I do while holiday...

Okay, and I couldn't find my passion of holiday like I used to be. Yeah, I CAN'T RELAX!

One day I spent my day by thinking, why I couldn't find it? And hoozam, I knew it. I couldn't find it because I got a lot things better to do.

I gotta practice band, I gotta help some buddies with their articles, I gotta... Well, other things better to do is waiting!

And the funniest fact: I go to school everyday, although it's holiday.
Yeah, and it makes me DON'T THINK THAT THIS IS HOLIDAY. I meet my friends, I meet my teachers, I help them. God, no thing called holiday anymore after this. Lol.

If you ask me do I feel happy or not I can't answer. First, I'm gonna be in 9th grade, final grade of junior high school. More exams, for sure. I don't think that my spare time will be like this anymore. Second, I can spend my holiday usefully instead of being fat duck inside home. Third, this is the last time I meet my 8th grade friends. Fourth, I'm tired all day long!

So what's the point? Like I said, I don't know. Maybe for some of you, this is great. But seeing the first and last reasons... Yeah...

End of words, HAPPY HOLIDAY!!
:)

Just Like Oil And Water

2010-07-01T15:49:00.002+07:00

Sometimes the world doesn't go as you want.
That's why we have enemies.
Although we have tried hard to be nice to them...

Just like oil an water
Can be together, never will be united.

It Starts With D And Ends With Y

2010-06-20T10:55:00.006+07:00

Say what, I'm gonna leave my beloved Democrazy. Feels so short time I live there. And so many things I learned in that shorty!

There, I lived like a star, with other stars that lighted together bright.

There, I learned who I am. The real myself, they taught me how to be myself, and now I found out the real Adismara Putri Pradiri.

There, I could be crazy and nobody cared. Because all of us were crazy.

There, I found out that I am a musician, not a just-stand-dreamer.

There, I found so many people love me! With the enemies increased, I could find out who are the true people who support me in ups and downs.

And there I found out that happiness comes in small piece of time.
It takes so long to find out, but takes so short to feel it. Even though it happens in long time, you wouldn't believe that it takes a half of your life.

It feels short if we take it happily.

Oh God, I wish it wouldn't happen! I wish we would be together as long as we could! I just can't stand without them in my life! Give me strength to face this all!

Because Democrazy never dies...

Hold

2010-06-20T10:15:00.001+07:00

I hold you in my dreams, I miss you in reality.

I don't want to sleep over.

Cuz more I hold you, more I miss you so.

--
For Democrazy, my beloved class ever. And I try to face the reality.

Bike To Work

2010-06-12T20:05:00.005+07:00

Today I have finished my final test, so time to have fun.

And it started by biking to school.

Although the distance is totally far (and farther if you get accident on the way), but I thought that was a great plan. I asked my friend Rizma to bike together, and we agreed :D

Well it didn't so tired as I was thought before. It was fun, healthy, and so cool because I got the new experience rather than riding motor or car.

I saw the pedestrians walking; some of them were chatting, taking a phone call, eating while walking, and many more. The gentle breeze blew my hair, and the water dew dropped around my face. The falling leaves falling around. The yellowed road seemed endless, with cars, trucks, and motors decorated it. People tidied up their home, the stores started to open.

It felt like I made myself being the nature, seeing everything around in the morning!

Whoa, and it's totally healthy! Yesh, I'm not telling you lies, and it sure is. I got sneezed all night long, but next morning I was so fine in school. I sweated, and I could move whole parts of my body with no problems.

And the most important thing I will never forget to tell: It's green. Well I mean, it's totally green the earth. No pollution, correct? By doing this you help the Earth, dude.

So what are you waiting for? Stand up your bike, and get ready to bike. Don't need to so-so-faraway distance; all you need is to change your riding car or motorcycle habit to biking habit. Unless if the distance kill you, of course.

formspring.me

2010-05-27T19:41:00.001+07:00

I'm an answering machine :) http://formspring.me/dizzmarine

formspring.me

2010-05-27T19:39:00.001+07:00

I'm an answering machine :) http://formspring.me/dizzmarine

Final Destination 4: Rest In Pieces

2010-05-27T18:43:00.004+07:00

I watched this movie last night (Yesh, little late, wasn't I?) and found out this movie was totally a disaster. Nightmare.

It wasn't about the storyline, anyway. HEY IT WASN'T CENSORED A BIT I COULD SEE THE PIECES OF FLESH, DUDE. So horror, but so learning.

WTF LEARNING?

Yeah, it is. Look at the bright side, it taught you to be always careful, never ignore anything even small, and be smart.

First, Nick O'Bannon has visions every time he sees something broken, dangerous, unsafe. He knows that it would happen something bad, but he cannot do anything because he doesn't know what would happened. From this point, it teaches us never ignore anything unsafe, because we know that would happen something bad.

Second, although Nick cannot move, but he has idea when he saves Lori Milligan in the mall. Be smart, no matter how. Because it helps you even in the most difficult situation one.

And always careful... you can see the learning in the whole movie. No explanation needed.

Besides of learning signs, I must admit that this movie is super awesome; recommended for you who loves thriller, horror, and supernatural. Although the storyline is same like the previous three ones, I love how the one accident according to other accidents.

Well, no words can describe how awesome this movie is! Go watch it yourself!!

Malang Tempo Doeloe - Mask Festival

2010-05-24T19:29:00.004+07:00

On 23rd May, it was the last day of Malang Tempo Doeloe, celebrated by mask festival performed by the students in many schools in the rest of Malang City.

What on earth is Malang Tempo Doeloe?

English: Old Times Malang. This moment shown every year to celebrate Malang City Anniversary. This year, this was the 5th. And yes, so many 'traditionalism' over there. Old foods, dances, clothes, money, stamps, and many kinds of that there. Usually, people go there wearing their traditional clothes. Me myself wore 'Batik' and jeans of course.

Back to the bottom line, the Mask Festival. Yesh, of course my school joined this parade. And can you imagine, walking over 5 kilometers with spaces every steps? Oh my Gee, so painful. I wasn't one of those, but I also took photo of them so I followed them walking.
It was about Kingdom Of Jenggolo and kind of that, the Javanese Kingdom. Barely heard the information. Blah. Tell ya later about the history!

These are few of them. Yes, few. More to come. CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGES.

Oh and, I WAS IN TV THAT DAY. There was a famous MC came over there, and greeted the participants. And as my friends pushed me around the seas of human, asking me to his photo, I drawn myself and took photo SO NEARLY TO HIM. And the camera shoot me, maybe. So ta-daa... Got me in!

So Kids, never forget the history. Cuz the history itself makes you go ahead to the future (Get in TV, for example :D)

Easy Come, Easy Go

2010-05-16T09:45:00.003+07:00

How do you feel if you just felt the fresh love and suddenly broken?

Dissapointed, absolutely.

I must confess, I easy to love with someone, although I know that my love of my life is only one (which is him ;p) And I just loved someone, and he just asked someone to be his girlfriend.

As I already love someone so much, I don't feel too broken for this one. But feels dissapointed, really! It's ironic, I just found him and suddenly I lost him!

I'm thank God I'm still have my true love beside me. I just wish to my ex-fresh-love would be stay with his girlfriend forever.

And God, don't take this true love away. I still love him so much.

Avenged Sevenfold New Single!

2010-05-14T11:04:00.003+07:00

Cannot you believe,
AVENGED SEVENFOLD WILL RELEASE THEIR NEW ALBUM ON 18TH MAY!!!

Called "Nightmare" from their new album, you can hear it on iTunes!

Wow, for Avenged Sevenfold fans, this cannot be missed!

Anyway, this is a little interview sneak peek from M. Shadows and Synyster Gates with Hard Drive Radio.

The new album, “Nightmare,” is dedicated to his memory and although it’s not exactly a concept album, it does center around The Rev. The eeriest thing about it is there is a song on the album called “Fiction” (a nickname The Rev gave himself) which started out with the title “Death.” And the song was the last song The Rev wrote for the album, and when he handed it in, he said, that’s it, that’s the last song for this record. And then 3 days later, he died. The guys have been in town mixing the album and are almost half completed with Andy Wallace. Meanwhile, watch for a video interview with Matt on our website, coming soon.

Source: Deathbat News.

So curious about the new album? So do I.

Owl City - Fireflies

2010-05-14T10:51:00.002+07:00

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

--

PS: I must admit that this song is meaningless (at least for me) but so beautiful and touching.

A Step Into Dream

2010-05-13T08:16:00.005+07:00

How long you would wait until the stars fall?

Do not wait, but run.
Do not catch, but chase after it.

No matter how big your dreams are,
If you wouldn't start it now,
You wouldn't get it becoming real.

No dreams are weird,
If we believe,
And try to realize it.

Dare to out your comfort zone,
Because new beginning is hard.
But you wouldn't believe how fun it is,
After through the hard part of your dream.

Do not wait, but run.
Do not catch, but chase after it.

One Step To The Stage

2010-05-13T07:41:00.003+07:00

Finally one step of my life goals has achieved. I went to the stage for performing music, my friends!

So? :p

You may think like that, but for me, go to the stage is awesome because my dream is become a band player (as you already known). I have practiced, learned every song we wanted to play, and kept it up.
This is the result, I played on the stage.

At first, it was felt so strange. Nervous, as I have said in previous previous post about performing on band festival. But on Sunday, my second "goes-to-stage", felt so relaxing and powerful. Instead of nervous, I felt wanted to show the world that I CAN! I can get my dream, to be a band player. I can get my dream, to show the world that I'm not only a nerd.

Okay, that one step has over now. But I got another thing to do:

To repair my friend's horrible voice because he's a vocalist.
To be number 1, or 2, or 3 in band competition. So far I just got 4th.

Call me crazy, but my friend really did asked me to teach him singing.

As you know, I have ~~dragon voice~~ monkey voice but he did asked me. Finally someone admits my voice! *wtf?*

By the way, I got teased by my teacher due to my vocalist's voice.

"Hey Adiz, come here."
"Yeah, Sir. What's happening?"
"You know that TeroLine got performing tomorrow?"
"Really? YAYS!"
"Hey, not so fast, Girl. You know something?"
"What? You haven't told me."
"Your vocalist's voice need to be repaired."

Behind the show, there's always a silly mistake.

Okay, end of words. I just wanna tell you that feeling nervous at beginning is fine. But dare to step to the nervousness, because your dream starts from yourself, with your act!

As World Go Round, I'm Changed

2010-05-02T14:34:00.002+07:00

He rolled his body to me, hugged me. He touched my hair, while I was only smiling, staring his blanket covered body. He warmed my body, warmer than my blanket was. I moved myself closer to him.

“Kinda hot here.” I whispered.

“I know. I can go out here to make you cooler.” He smiled naughty in eyes closed.

“No, don’t leave.” I shook my head, trying to wake up. “I can’t live without you.”

He opened his dark blue eyes and giggled. “You can. If so, you had been dead before you meet me.”

“I was.”

“You breathe.”

“I was died. I didn’t know who I was before I knew you. It seemed I was only playing role in this world, being somebody else while I should know I wasn’t SpongeBob or Avatar or somewhat else. I was trying to be the ones I had seen on TV, real life, theatre… And when I met you, I know I’m Adiz. I should be Adiz, not those silly cartoons.”

“I’m happy for you. I’m proud I can change someone’s attitude.”

“Yeah, I found myself is a jerk now.” I closed my eyes, almost cried. Air was so cold even I wore a thick pajama.

“No you aren’t. You just… are overreacting.” He shook his head, disagreed.

“That’s more comfortable word.” I closed my eyes, I couldn’t imagine worse. “I’m not good enough for you…”

He woke up and leaned his head on my shoulder. “You may are not the best in the world, but you can be the best as yourself. And that’s why I love you.”

“Can I say more?”

“What is that?”

“I love you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Based on true DREAMS.
Anyway, THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. They just sleep together :\

Burn Baby Burn!

2010-05-01T15:16:00.003+07:00

I have new habit.

BURN SOMETHING.

Okay, that isn't only as literally but truly BURN. Yeah, burn paper, grass, rock, sand, water, fire...
IT BURNS!!

Well actually the five ones aren't true. I only burn paper. I write some scribbles on paper, and then burn it. I watch it and a bucket of water has been prepared next to me; just to safety.
Silly activity it seems, eh? But I have a good-although-still-silly reason.

What I write isn't only scribbles, but it's all the wish I always want to get. Not only as object, but also as psychological (and kind of that thing). Ladies and gentlemen, you may think I'm such an idiot but the reason why I do this is because if we truly want to do/get it, we have to remember it. By burning, we can remember what wish we have wrote; or at least, know that we want to get.

When we do something according to the wish, we can remember it and do the best for it. We motivate ourselves by burning the paper...

Call me a psycho, but you don't have to burn the wish, Dude. Drawn it, eat it, flew it.. At least you can remember and have motivated yourself to get that wish.

Anyway, I have made my school grade well. Those things felt suck, but this would you get at least. And this isn't in my wish list I burned last night.

The Bird And The Worm

2010-04-20T18:15:00.002+07:00

Those silly romance songs,
Though I love it truly deep,
Secretly hate by seeing,
Two birds fly together,
While a worm trying to follow.

Is there any more cruel,
Than admit myself is only a worm.
Is there any more hurt,
Than try to fly just to chase the love.

I will try to defy,
Defy what has been made into rule.
Nothing is impossible,
Than to chase the love I will never get.
Love has been bonded, chain will never break.

Never stop learning how to fly,
I will do anything to chase you.
To chase the love I will never get,
Though finally I fly.

(Kurt Hummel to Finn Hudson…?)

No, this isn't that Owlcity song one as you perhaps thought before.

You Won't Bring Me Down

2010-04-13T09:18:00.003+07:00

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

(Defying Gravity - Glee Cast/Wicked The Musical)

--
And I only can see you from afar,
But I know we can do it together,
By defying gravity.
If you don't want to join me,
I'll try first,
And if I did,
You wouldn't bring me down.

I Have Found

2010-04-12T17:04:00.002+07:00

Dear God is such a wonderful song. I love playing that song together with my bandmate.
I play the music with hopeful, the lyric mean is so deep. Trying to reach the edge of ravine, learning how to fly.

The music played, my singer sings...

Dear God, the only thing I ask to you is to hold him when I found him, while I must too faraway...
We all need, that person who can be true to you... I left him when I found him, and now I wish I stayed..
Cause I'm lonely, and tired, I'm missing you again.. Oh No... Once again.

That makes me sad.

We go into the bridge. Drum opens the bridge, and guitar introduces the lyric we will sing.

My singer sings so meaningful.

Some search never finding away...

At the end of that line, I shout inside,

I found it.

And I'm thank God I know this song. I can support myself, thanking to God that I blessed, already found what I used to find. This song has the same story as me. And then I found what I've been finding, it reminds me to keep the precious treasure I have found.

The treasure I have found, to keep inside my heart locker.

Hey Dad...

2010-04-01T20:36:00.002+07:00

Sometimes I think that my dad is always only care for his job, ignored me. Busy in his own world, ignoring about the outside there.

And sometimes, I don't know how hard his job is. He was searching for job everyday, didn't go work just because he had no job, angry with me just because I didn't know how crisis our financial is. Now, when he got job, he goes work everyday to other city. Go out at 8 am and go home at 10 pm; everyday.

I should thank him.

Yesterday, I met an abnormal boy in the food court of a mall. He looked dumb, silly, but hopeful. I was pity on him, but suddenly became proud, especially for his dad. Only his dad was beside on him; I don't know how about his mom. His dad was sooo tough, taking care of an abnormal boy is a heavy work. But he did it happily, so patient.
While his son was also tough; even though he maybe cannot think, he didn't make his dad bothered. He did every his dad said. They were awesome.

I should be ashamed. I always make bother my dad, knew nothing about what he did.

I love you Dad. I really do.

I'm Not Only Pianist

2010-03-27T14:08:00.004+07:00

Sometimes I wish I were a violist, or drummer, or bassist, or guitarist. Even though I can play guitar a bit, that doesn't count. Violist, drummer, bassist, and guitarist are all awesome. I want to be like them, not a pianist.

They say it's useless to be pianist. A band doesn't need it. It's only need drummer-bassist-guitarist. I feel worthless, why did I decide to be like this. A finger-player in the middle of black-white board.

But I look into my heart, deepest. I know I love to be myself, and I shouldn't feel worthless. Music isn't simple as that. Music is the way of life. And I'm not only a pianist, I'm musician. I participate of music, I participate of my life.

I found the self-satisfy, I found the way I should belong to be. A pianist. I found the passion, I found the way of my life. Music.

Whatever they say about pianist, I think I'm good at it. Yes, a band maybe not needing it, but with me on it, it rocks. And it perfects the band. It's not useless, because the true power is about do we love it or not.

And it doesn't matter how worthless you are if you found the true of yourself, the thing you love and passionate you.

Jimohnny: JIMMY I LOVE YOU

2010-03-19T17:08:00.017+07:00

Title: Jimmy I Love You
Pair: Jimmy "The Rev" x Johnny Christ; Synyster x Zacky (a bit)
Disclaimer: WHUT NOT ME I JUST MADE THE STORY DUDE!
Summary: Jimmy was really pissed with his fans. Worse, his fans thought that he dated Johnny.

“Jimmy I love you!”

“Jimmy I really want to marry you!”

“Jim, please love me back!”

“JIM, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME. YESH, LET’S HAVE ‘SOMETHING PERSONAL’ IN A MOTEL TONIGHT.”

Those fucking things always drove me crazy. Every time I went to the stage, they were screaming like crazy. I just smiled and then went away. But they didn’t stop; they even got my e-mail address and sent me e-mails EVERY SINGLE SECOND. Someone that got my address shared it with other fans and instantly filled my inbox.

They just wrote the same thing: “JIM I LOVE YOU”; “JIMMY, I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.” “JIM LET’S MARRY.”; “JIM I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN.”

Okay, I didn’t know your weight, smart ass.

And I just replied the same thing to them: THANKS. I LOVE YOU BUT I CAN’T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

And I couldn’t wait to see their responds on the stage. That was making me laugh out loudly.

On the stage, I saw a girl was fainted just because she didn’t expect my reply to her. She yelled and pushed me to marry her. The other members of A7X were crazily laughed; Syn patted me and said, “Dude, if you really marry her, you’d marry more than once.”

Thankfully the fans still loved me.

Once, I went out together with Johnny. One of our fans saw us and yelled “OMG ARE YOU DATING?! GOSH, THE REV AND JOHNNY ARE DATING, EVERYONE!” Instantly everyone turned around us.

I just laughed. So did Johnny. He explained, “We are not. We’re just best friends.”

And I hated the fact that the woman didn’t believe us and still yelling. Last time I saw her was when she taken to the asylum.

That gossip had been spread around. Every time we met our fans, they always yelled “YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY DATING??!!!”

And we couldn’t say anything because we knew that they wouldn’t believe it.

Matt said that it would make us more popular. But the weirdest thing was my band mates really did it. Finally Brian dated Zacky, and Matt was still looking around. While me, I had Johnny but I didn’t know that he loved me back or no. And I didn’t think that boy love was a good thing.

The fans were being crazier than before. They still sent me e-mails even though I had changed my e-mail and they caught me again. They pushed me to break up with Johnny. I didn’t reply it, because I didn’t have to. I let them.

Even though, there was an e-mail I really loved for her creativity:

Jim,

GO FIND THE REAL LIFE, HONEY.

Stop loving a boy; it’s not cool. Don’t be ridiculous.

STOP IT NOW.

PLEASE.

It’s about for your future! How will you get a child for your family? How will you share your talent, Jim?

You’re still young and talented,

You’re handsome.

MARRY ME.

Fuck. I loved the beginning but not the end. Bullshit.

So finally I ignored every comment from our fans and still went out with Johnny sometimes. We spent our time together more than with other members. Maybe because our popularity were fewer than them? Well, maybe yes.

One night, Johnny and I were in a café. It was little bit dark so we wouldn’t catch up by our fans. He picked the café and I was wondering why he did it.

We sat in the corner of the dance floor. There was a VIP chairs and it was only one, so nobody was around us. Johnny said that he was going to say something important to me.

His position was blocking the light from the disco ball, so he was looked like a silhouette. I was hard to stare him but finally he stared me back. “Soo… what are you going to say?” I asked as I gulped a beer.

He looked nervous. “Well actually, Jim, I didn’t want to bother you with those rumors.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Aren’t you feeling annoyed with those rumors?”

“The dating one?”

He nodded. “Yes, Jim. That one I’m worried about. I thought that you would hate me because of this.”

I could see his worry eyes. “Hey, don’t be like that. Everything’s gonna be fine, alright?”

He slowly smiled.

I reached his chin. “Nothing gonna break our friendship.” Then I stroked his Mohawk hair.

“Jim…” His eyes were softly glaring. He blushed, showing red even in the dark.

“Yeah John,” I smiled gently, and closing my face.

I kissed his lips softly, and touched his tongue. He kissed me back, jumped to the table and hugged me. I pulled his hair as I kissed his neck. I could feel my passion to him. He was the only one who could make me passionate.

We kissed for about 3 minutes before he went back to his chair. He panted as he cleaned up his lips. I leaned on the chair back and blinked my eyes.

“So this is the end, huh?” He asked and playing some smile.

I chuckled. “I think so. The end of the rumor is, the love. I can’t imagine what fans would say if they found us.”

He laughed. “I don’t think that I’d show myself kissing you.” He moved closer to me, kissed my neck.

We hugged. I whispered, “I love you, Jonathan Seward.”

He whispered back, “I love you, too, James Sullivan.” He kissed my hair.

“But I can’t fall in love with you because I have girlfriend already.” He giggled as he stared my eyes. He played his tongue as I realized I was only his pet.

Then I felt that everything was turning black.

Some Shots Never Finding A Way

2010-03-16T10:32:00.005+07:00

Here are some nice shots for you dudes.
They have been edited, the original ones will be saved on my photo collection.

Crossroad.

And I walked through the center, where no rules to guide me.

Spongebob Squarepants

2010-03-14T19:46:00.004+07:00

Even Spongebob ever mad some times.

I try to be happy-man,
I try to be an optimism.
I try to make people happy.
I try to ignore what bothers me.

But I will never be the man who will never get angry.
Because I know,
even Spongebob ever mad some times.

People have been known me as a happy person. Optimism, easy-going, playful, and serious.

But only few of them who have known me that I ever serious in angry.
It happened once in the class. My friend was making me really mad. But he ignored me, he thought that I wasn't serious. I barked him and he still didn't feel sorry or anything!
Until my best friends cooled me down, I ignored him.

So this is what you should note: I WILL NEVER BE THE MAN WHO NEVER GET ANGRY.

The Tribute Goes Further

2010-03-13T19:14:00.006+07:00

Heya, Dudes!
If I told you about the tribute I gave is handwriting in the previous,
Now I went further than it.

When I read the most loved source for Avenged Sevenfold DEATHBAT NEWS, I found this.

Nominate Avenged Sevenfold As Your Rock Icon Of The 21st Century For Kerrang!

Go read it. Or maybe before you go, may I explain about it a little?

Kerrang! Magazine wants to know, who has changed your life in the last 10 years and why. Well, it's about the rockstar. Who changed your life, and why?
If you have the persons like that, GO AHEAD. SUPPORT THEM.
You can nominate 3 NOMINATIONS.

For further information, click the site. I'm not a spoiler :3

BUT WAIT I DON'T KNOW IS THAT STILL ACCEPTED OR NOT BECAUSE THE NEWS UPDATED ON 27 FEBRUARY.

Arrghnyway, I have sent my mail already. FEEL BETTER NOW.
I suggested 3 musicians which are my heroes. Two of them are from Avenged Sevenfold. Of course The Rev is one of them x)

He deserves to be the top of the music. He changed my life foREVer.
And I'm proud I gave him further tribute :3

Oh then, I still have another tribute:

HE'S NOT AFRAID AT ALL! COME HERE YOU STALLION DUCK! HE'S FUCKING BIG!

I love when Jimmy says it T^T
He was funny and I love his craziness. I love STALLION DUCKS.
Well actually I finished this in January but published it now. And I'm proud (again).

The trending topics on twitter said foREVer. The foREVer-s came from the entire world and united to give Jimmy the tribute. And I made this.

I love you Jim, I really do.

For Tribute And Proudness!

2010-03-09T06:42:00.003+07:00

Heya dudes!
As you know I have an abnormal-terrible obsession with THE REV.
And you should know I'll do anything to remind you folks how great he was.

Tuesday morning was a free day. Not much. Only in Indonesian lesson so we gotta spend it usefully.
While the others played PES (that football game) in their phone, girls went to the bathroom for such a useless thing that you can do it even in class: combing your hair, my best boy friends were scribbling the board with silly pictures; I sat in my bench and started to write on my own hand a tribute.

A tribute for The Rev.

You may notice that I wrote it by golden ink. YESH EVERYONE GOLDEN.
I think his life was like a dream-treasure. Such a precious story.

I know there are so many more talented drummer out there. But in my heart, he was the greatest. He wasn't perfect but he tried to make himself perfect.

Gosh, if only God sold his life-story, I'd buy it no matter with the cost.
I love The Rev since there was a fake twitter account of him. People said that it was fake but I still didn't know it so I tried to find his history, and fell in love with him.

But still, I'm not satisfied yet. What did I get hasn't completely finished and will never be. So I decided to remember it in my mind, and show people that I'M THE REV LOVER. NOT ONLY FANS.
(Well I don't like pink, so I changed the LOVER color into purple. Such a silly alternative color.)

Here's another sweety. Now in SCHOOL TIE.
I'll take a risk for it. Not because I'm a crazy or maniac, but because I love him.
And thankfully it has been washed for twice but not yet blurring :3

And this maybe the craziest:

I wrote it on my arm-bag that you may seen it barely.
ZOMG another golden ink? Yes.
Well, the scribbles on the center are my friends' signature. Crazy but loving, aren't they?

I didn't think that my dad love it but he does xD

Aaand if only my teacher gave me two choices: Take over my bag or clean it up I'd pick PROUDNESS.

Well that was sound crazy, wasn't it? I'll die FOR TRIBUTE AND PROUDNESS.

Argghnyway, I still have another tribute that you should see if you love/fan/adore/"you name it" Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan. Post it later.

Nice Present

2010-03-08T06:34:00.000+07:00

What present is nice to a girl?
Love?
Money?
Make-ups?
High-heels?
Pets?
Praises?

I think none of them.

I think it's a good friends who never bother her.

What if she bothers the friends?

Than the nice present is leave her.

What if she never want to be left?

Then shut her mouth off.

Rain In Pain!

2010-03-05T20:31:00.006+07:00

In this rainy season, of course there's rain everyday. Sometimes I pray, "God, would you stop the rain for a while? Pweaase?? I wanna go home..." And it does nothing.
And I hate it.

In other side, I really love rain. So fresh after the rain, and so breeze. So many water everywhere. And I'm a water lover :3 I don't know why but it just does in myself <3

But today, I'm neither love nor hate it.

How come?

Yesterday there was a hard rain. I even could see that my yard had became a toads' swimming pool. Seriously I was freezing in my home.
It was about 2 hours long. I tried to ignore it and went to bed.

Something unwanted happened on next morning (which was this morning). The water can't flow!!
Arrgh!! I was worried that I couldn't take any bath!!
So I only had a choice: TAKE A BATH WITH COLD WATER THAT HAD BEEN STORED IN THE FRIDGE FOR A WEEK.

Could you imagine how painful was that? I couldn't move my hands after finished bathing =.=

After asking so many people in my village, I know that the hard rain last night was breaking the water dam. A whole city will get the water either flow as slowly or totally dead. I'm in the second!

Turning on the idea, my dad put the pots on the yard so if the rain fall they would filled enough of water. But after waiting almost a half day there was no rain fell! How couldn't I get mad? This would be the worst day I ever had in my life. Back to the 70's where there was no water.

When I went out to get some dinner, I felt something fell from the sky. Yes, it was water! I laughed loudly like a crazy girl *even though I AM x)*

So we collected the rain like a collector found a gold or maybe diamonds or you name it. It was a hard work and tonight I'm not worrying how would I take a bath anymore because I have it enough for two days :3

And still, I don't know do I love rain or hate it. I never hated it this much before, and never loved the rain this much either <3

Sometimes, there's a line between love and hate and you're on it :)

Anyway, this is the photo of pots I put in my yard. Sorry for the bad quality photos because taken at night. Hard work =.=

Glad With Your Racional Thought!

2010-03-03T06:41:00.005+07:00

I've been listening to this song for two weeks. Last week I finally found the meaning of that song *so two weeks ago I didn't even know what the song means of!!*

This song tells about the one (maybe it's M. Shadows?) who has two choice of his life: be a religious or a party animal?

I've been traveling for so long
So lost 'til I stumbled upon
Two roads in front of me
I had to take my time

To the right I could see a church
I took a step in that direction first
But to the left there was a watering hole where they were whiskey drunk and now that's were I wanna pray!

Got it?
It's about he's confused where should he go!

So many choices in our life. Not only in the song, not only in the legend, not only a bull-shit. Sometimes we didn't know where should we choose.

Even wrong isn't always wrong, right isn't always right.

If only he chose the right way, he'd be a religious man. He smiles everyone he meet, says thing which is won't hurt, and any other thing that seems peacefully.
But he'd gonna tied on the rule. The rule which isn't always true. Which isn't always comfortable. And the rule, which isn't always same with your RATIONAL THOUGHT.

If only he chose the left way, he'd be a free man with no knowing of rule. FREE TO BE FREE, NO ONE GONNA GET ME HERE! *well maybe he's gonna say it ;p* Party everyday, kill everyone who piss him, and kiss everyone he likes.
But he wouldn't know the rule. He wouldn't even know the world outside! He would kill himself slowly or quickly.

The right choice doesn't always fits you, either do the wrong.

We have to choose the center way. Between the right and wrong. Between the angel and demon. Between the light and dark.

You won't get trouble with it. You won't get in jail because you know where is your bound to make a party. You won't kill everyone because killing isn't the one which makes you happy.

If I was perfect, then this would be easy
Either road is plausible
On both I could drown
I walk through the center, with no rules to guide me
I realize it's difficult
But now I can see

There's gotta be another way to go
A way that's much more feasible
The combination of both these lives
A central path without choosing a side

And how could we choose the central path?

Remember, you have mind, dude!! Like I said, rational thought. Go use your mind. Do what you believe true, but think it twice. Free to be free, but don't bother the other. See the live outta there, you're gonna see what true life is.

Don't really believe in religion; it makes you think without your rational mind. But never ignore it; it decides who you are. And remember, true decision is only one. But you can make it so many with what you do and believe, and never regret it.

I make decisions one at a time
And though I'll never say I'm always right
I'm confident that when I stand on my own, you'll see the truest form of a man when I'm shining through

Anyway, I'm a proud moslem. I believe in my religion but never get deeper than believing what I admit true.

It Wasn't Even Useless

2010-03-01T20:53:00.006+07:00

Yesterday, my friends and I were attending the band festival in Malang. It's about band competition and we were the one of it.

We'd been practicing the songs for about 5 times or more, but my dad said that it would useless because the practice was still lack.

Well, I didn't respond him.

So I got him drilled me by practicing EVERY NIGHT FOR 1:30 HOURS. 9 to 10.30 pm, what I've seen was only piano.

Sadly, what I'd been practiced was canceled. My teacher said I wasn't able to play piano but only keyboard. But that was cool, because it was much easier. Even so, I still played piano in few.

I love when we practiced together! So much fun and laughs. I was actually tired but couldn't feel it. Maybe was it because the fun?
I don't know; I enjoyed it!

We weren't too serious practice it. We enjoyed it. We loved it. We felt it. Maybe not the trophy we were looking for but passion. Like I said, music passionate us (or maybe just me? Who cares)

Whatever I said or felt, in home, I was scared. I was really nervous.
And I even didn't know why did I feel it.

But then the time passed.
.
.
.
On the studio, for the final practice, we looked sharp and ready. No mistake we did, and my teacher believed on us. Oh my, I'm ready I'm ready!! *Spongebob Squarepants Soundtrack: on* Aayayayayyayayaayay!!!

On the place, I was pessimist. Our supporters were so few and I felt that we were abandoned. But my lovely band mates were relaxing me; they said they were only late!
And they were right! My best friends were coming supporting us!
I really felt different than usual. I usually didn't care for them but they were really care for me.

In stage, I felt nervous. OH GOD WHERE ARE YOU WHY THE STAGE SO DARK WHERE AM I WHERE ARE YOU WHO AM I??!!

Thankfully it was really okay. Finally I did it good. Funny, then I could see our supporters were much than we predicted!

Waiting for the result, we enjoyed the time. We laughed, ate, and sad together. Sad? Yeah, we didn't get anything to get home! We didn't win anything!

I was disappointed, but my friends said that was okay. For the first time I was really good! I had showed the best I could do, and so did my friends. They were all great, and couldn't be ignored!

So did my dad. He finally admit that I was great. With the minim practice we've got the maxi result. That was incredible, he said.

Well, so that wasn't even useless. I've got experience, passion I never had before in music, and friends. Do your best and believe everything's gonna be okay. Shut up, and see what you'll get!

In Passion

2010-02-21T20:00:00.000+07:00

Hey, it seems my blog has been abandoned but it's NOT ~~YET~~!!!

I'm here, guys. Still in passion.

WTF passion?

Really, I'm in passion now! Well, I'm in passion of music. I really love music, so that's why I really passionate.

And passion could make your body healthy like never before. Seriously. It's like, finding a treasure 1000 years buried already and it was yours. Like nobody would bother you!

Yesterday, my friends and I went to our elementary school to reunion. We were going there by public transportation, but because another friend celebrated his b'day party, so we walked to a restaurant first. It was really far from our school, and we just went there by walking. Tired? Don't ask.

We went to the different places 3 times, and I think we were walking about 1 miles already. Oooh, how sucks! When we arrived to a restaurant, I sighed. It took about an hour just to find a place like that. But that wasn't over yet. Sacrificing an hour must get eat as its prize but we were only drinking. I knew, and I didn't want more but friends weren't so cheerfully so I decided to bloomed, either.

Because the distance from our place to my school wasn't too far anymore, my friend decided to walk. Okay, we also followed him. But he took the wrong route which made us tired to walk farther. When we arrived to the school, I couldn't talk anything but drank as much as I could.

Even we were having fun there, I was still tired. Oh God, it was almost 4 pm! So I went home because I must practicing band with my band mates.

Actually I wanna cancel the practice but knowing that was important so I gotta take out my pain and go get the sustain on the back and went away to the studio.

My friends already inside the studio but weren't playing yet. I felt something different inside myself: familiar, excited, free, and be the big.

When I played the song, I finally realized one thing: SO PASSIONATE! Like finding yourself the real yourself. YEAH!

I even forgot the tired I felt before. Met my best friends was all kinda exciting!

Find yourself what you love, do it and be it. No matter how tired you are, when you around it, you're cool. Feel confident, and be the real yourself. Try it.

Tips: How To Know Your Real Passion
Real passion always makes you better, but still make you aware. You can be wild, but you can control yourself. If you found something makes you wild, but crazy and bothering others, shut your mouth if you call it passion. It's a demon, dude. Find something which makes you feel free!

Avatar: Watch Like Never Before

2010-02-01T22:33:00.000+07:00

Sunday morning, Adit, Manda, and I went to cinema to watch Avatar as we had been waiting for it. It wasn't in 3D but that was okay because we don't have any 3D cinemas here.

And I have two reasons why did I want to watch it:

I was curious, why does it beat Titanic. How great is it? I didn't know it.
Aldi (my bestie) says that it was BAD.

Wether bad or not, my true reason was the first one. Isn't it funny when the director beats his own film with his another own film?

And I really should shut my mouth when I watched it. More than great. IS INCREDIBLY AMAZING, YOU KNOW?!!

Watch like never before.

I was really like watching another world's movie. Like it wasn't from earth. Like it wasn't film. Like it was real.

I even cried, and I never cried before. The movie was like becoming real.

From animation side, the movie is totally great. Amazing. Super. You name it. I say "No difference of animation and real men." even I know which is animation ones and not animation ones.

Oh man, James Cameron is like a God.

The storyline is also totally great. Unpredictable. I thought the executive one (the one that keeps Ubnotanium - sorry if spelled wrong - in his desk) would cancel the exploration. And it wasn't!
Also, I really love the legend of Na'vi. Sounds traditional but really unique. Lovely legend. Eywa. Nobody would ever think about that name (maybe there are some, but whatever) to be used as God of Na'vi.

And this is I really love: the love story. I'm actually not a love story lover, but only as exception. I freakily love the love story. Feels like the difference is no matter.

Oh God, YOU TOTALLY SHOULD WATCH THIS NO MATTER IN 3D OR NOT BECAUSE IS STILL A GREAT GREAT MOVIE!!!

A Month FoREVer

2010-01-30T08:37:00.001+07:00

It's been a month since my idol, lover, inspiration, The Reverend Tholomew Plague a.k.a. Jimmy Sullivan dead. So the police said, "His dead was NORMAL" And I never feel that he was DEAD!
Okay, I was so depressed but now I must confess that I only feel empty. Neither sad nor broken heart. Only empty.

Yeah, I've lost my idol, bla-bla-bla, almost everything from me. It feels like living without destination.

But Rev gave me everything. From imagination, spirit, never-give-upness, and be everything you want, don't care with what people will say.
And he like told us, "Hey no problem, I'm gonna fine in there. ROCK IN PARADISE!" from his unknown dead. Yeah.

He loved surprise, and I think he gave us like that. Wondering, will his fans fine without him?

I will never know his answers. What does he want? Does he want the answer of "Yes", or "No"?

At least I'm praying for him. My heart goes to his entire family. Raised a great guy ever.

You'll be missed foREVer.

Such a SHIP to a LEADERSHIP

2010-01-28T16:01:00.000+07:00

Due to holiday boredom I decided to read newspaper all morning long. My confession, newspaper is the BEST readable object all time! Compared to another books, think newspaper beat 'em all. Yeah.

I read one of top newspaper in Indonesia, Jawa Pos (Eng: Java Pos) and is my most favorite newspaper here.

And I found out an awesome article: GROW WITH CHARACTER SERIES BY HERMAWAN KARTAJAYA
The series are 100 stories long and I never got bored by reading it.

And seriously it teaches us about Leadership, how to be a leader.
When you're in problem of leadershipness, I guess you (and if you're an Indonesian) should read this. You'll never know what is leadership before you read this. Trust me.

Leadership isn't about leader, but is about what, when, where, who, why, and how. What are you leading of? When do you lead it? Where will it end? Who will be the man inside? Why do you lead it? And how do you lead it.
How, is the main part of leadership. The first ones are only the "Description", while how is the identification. Success or not, depends on how.

And... still about leadership,
But this about my story. I hope can inspire other.

I was in terrible condition in OsPek (remember? School organization - OSIS MPK - while I'm being the leader of the second one). It's like, separated into two parts. I actually didn't want that happen but that is.

There are lovers and haters. Seriously can't stand to my haters. I'm afraid that my lovers would be my haters, too.

I asked this to MPK former leader (who is also my best, best friend) Nieke. She said that she was in the same problem as I am right now.

And she said that was making she strong. She's a great girl ever.

So in leadership we'll found the problems, either in beginning or end.

Well, so this is my story. Enough, and try to be a leader of yourself because EVERYBODY IS A LEADER!!

Holiday Isn't Holy Day

2010-01-28T15:35:00.000+07:00

My confession is, I really wanted holiday but now I don't want to. I'm not lying.

I thought I was the only one who thinks like a silly but my friends do, too. What a great mind-readers.

When other people do want holiday, neither do I. I think this is the same as moving my ass out from school forever but I don't feel like that way so this is just my imagination... (wtf?!)
Okay, at least you know what I'm feeling. I'm getting addicted to friends right now. I really miss them. I'm lonely.

Maybe this is just me or people feel lonely when they go nowhere. I really wanna go out somewhere with buddies. Not alone.

Thanks to internet for making my days brighter than before. You let me chat with dudes and trying to learn myself in loneliness. They feel the same way as me.
But they're lucky, they went somewhere else where they can let the boredom go away. Oh my, I wish that much.

Holidays are a week long. It's been 5 days and I feel like wanna suicide. Oh God please let me meet some dudes so I can throw away my boredom.

Really I miss my friends.

The only thing I need from school is friends, must admit. I take the lessons but also the friends. School sucks without that. Even harder the lessons, as long there are friends, I do take it.

So guys, any idea for this holiday?
Please I need that, seriously.

Argh I never want to wish a holiday anymore! T.T

Get Ready For The Next Battle...!!

2010-01-26T08:16:00.001+07:00

Been playing Tekken 5 for while.

OMG THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME!

.

.

.

Err...

Last time I played this when I was 6th grade, about 2 years ago. 2 YEARS EVERYBODY 2 YEARS. I couldn't believe I was so interested to this game and now I know why.
I was interested because the ~~sexy girls~~ fighting scene and now I do like it because the storyline. Seriously, storyline.

Who cares with the storyline?

Well that's the question, people. I even didn't know why but I like it. It seems unique, every characters LIVE in their own story NOT in the gamers' hands (unless if it's about their life and death, of course. I couldn't resist)

Everytime I play Tekken 5 with various characters, I live in various stories, too. It's like having yourself dead, live, dead, live, and so on. Taste the different lives.
And I taste the different hopes, wishes, lives, emotions, friends, loves, happiness...

They all have different destination to be arrived, wishes to be fighting for, loves to be needed, prizes to get, and many more to be answered. Just like us.

We live like that. We're different. We can't be the way people wanted but we can be the way people proud of. Stop thinking you're different, because everybody is. Stop thinking what you have did are useless, because nothing is useless. It's a trial!

Just like playing Tekken, we all must get the lost. But from that we can be stronger than before, be the winner.

We're fighting against everyone here even your friends. The differences make it but you're in the same life. Stop killing everyone wishes! Because they are all just like you!

Just with the understanding we're gonna get into people life, and knowing what is inside.

Life isn't game. Surely you can't see it easily. But we're inside the game, walk as the way we should do.
GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE!

I really love that. I remember I was started to play this game again just because wanted to hear that.

Got Nothing Against You, Surely Miss You

2010-01-21T14:20:00.000+07:00

Sometimes, I feel like missing him.
Because we have nothing against us.
And I want that for all time.

But I know, that we all do have obstacles.
I can't be selfish, want it all good.
And I know,
That's why I really love our relationship.

And I want us to be together - with nothing against us, surely gonna missing each other.

Title © Afterlife, Avenged Sevenfold.

It's Not A Falling But Flying

2010-01-19T07:08:00.004+07:00

Yesterday there was Class-meeting, a sport competition between the classes. Football, badminton, basketball, and volleyball are there. It's 3 days long, and the one I want to tell ya was in yesterday (another word, there still a class-meeting today).

Me as one of the class-meet committee must monitoring every wrong move in the event. My friends and I went to the podium, in the middle of the field. We could see what people do clearly from there.

The first volleyball match was my class. My other friends were the supporters. Okay, there wasn't any problem... yet.

When the match started, they didn't yell, support, nor doing something. They just shut, watching every move our players made. Okay, not everyone of them. But mostly. I even had to yell, called them and realize them.

But I was more likely doing nothing.

The volley match was over. We lost.

I don't blame them. But I remember what my friend said to me,
"I'VE LOST MY VOICE."

Now it heard like it was normal but when you know the circumstance, it wasn't at all.
She even DIDN'T YELL A BIT.

Betch.

But I'm glad that when I played badminton with my partner Mayong, they supported me all-time. I loved it, and really loved it. I realized that they were only my close friends, best friends, friends that love our class, and another good friends.

Yeah, but finally we lost.

I really wanted to cry. But Mayong said that it was okay, and we should try harder. So did my friends said. They're good friends.

So here I push myself better than I was. It's not a falling but it's a flying. Way to fly. Fly to be better than I used to be!

Somebody-I-Don't-Know-His/Her-Name-And-I-Don't-care said, "From the mistakes we can be better". He's right.

Yeah, I hope I can make this day much better than yesterday.

Wow, this reminds me of our lunch with committees and referees this afternoon:

RAVIOLI NOODLES!

LOL!

By the way I got some photos from class-meeting:

Okay, the left one is me. I look not ready but I'M READY FOR EVERYTHING!

So I'm playing now. Mayong is really cool.

This is Democrazy's volley.
The left one is Abi. I'm gonna say he looks flying. And the one that looking at here is Elwin.

Okay, I forget which picture is this but this is really simple.